Knead the Ground Before You Curl Up

Tonight I'm sleeping in the alley.

It's not what you think, it's not

because I don't have other places,

home bases to rest or request

help is not what I need.

What I need is company,

and not for a fee--

That'd be too easy, and a measly

time it would be,

time is what I don't have.

So here I sit, dimly lit by street light,

out of sight--but not ignored.

Here come the true owners

(the loners) of the night,

my feline friends do not bite.

Author's Note

This is a draft. Notes: does it flow? Does it end satisfactorily? Does the rhyming add to or take away from it? Any and all comments are welcome.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

It does not stun me or take my breath away. Seems to begin in pathos and end in light humor. I guess that is fine. Only real problem I have in the poem is I cannot take my eye off "measly." Anything that holds my eye that long is a problem for me the reader.

[L4rn13]

I liked this a lot because of the way it began: "Tonight I'm sleeping in the alley." A strange matter-of-fact way to begin the write which immediately grips the reader. I also didn't expect such an ending: "Here come the true owners (the loners) of the night," suggested a potential threat but the mention of the 'feline friends' immediately cancelled out any chance of conflict. Very nice! I like this a lot.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Yes it does flow. I like the rhyming, as well. Good job.

[Benjamin]

Awesome, thanks for reading!