Counter-Clockwise

Counter-Clockwise

A Poem by Benjamin

The crooked army, it cannot

harm me in its slanted state,

its fate to march forever

like a game so clever

and twisted.


The battlefield misted,

covered with crystal capped flowers,

each cowers.


Above towers gray bulks,

great hulks that crush

the brush flat again and


again they follow the loops,

always crawl slow left

step by left step, bereft

and left grieving,

they never stop heaving

their loads.

© 2014 Benjamin


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Reviews

I really like this. The only thing I would change is the second stanza. Something about the words misted and flowers throws me off. Other than that, it's awesome. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Benjamin

10 Years Ago

That's really helpful, I hear the awkwardness in those two lines.
Thanks!

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61 Views
1 Review
Added on January 17, 2014
Last Updated on January 17, 2014

Author

Benjamin
Benjamin

Amherst, MA



About
I am attending Hampshire College in Amherst Massachusetts for Creative Writing and Music. I love how poetry and music intersect with rhythm, tone, and feeling. more..

Writing
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