Glass Bottomed Birds

A friend of mine changed his facebook status to the quote at the beginning and for some reason my reply turned into this poem. Which, clearly, was too long to post in response to him. ;)

He says,

"I’m thinking about realist and

constructivist interpretations

of the diplomatic correspondence

of the Amarna age",

 

and I want to say something that sounds

sagacious. Profound,

like the way the stars make us weep

with the realisation

there are messages in the heavens

that we will never hear;

 

or how thoughts, in a poem become

glass bottomed birds;

or how the eyes lead to the soul

and back again.

 

But really,

I'm thinking about monkeys.

Tiny, tiny little monkeys,

and things that are

rather shiny, like Firefly--

Captain Tightpants,

and the way it made me laugh

when I realised how unconsciously

I adopted their phrase;

 

how unconsciously I added that

to my repertoire for performance

in this every day life

half a world away.

 

And I'm thinking about brine shrimp;

the sea monkeys that are swimming,

riding each other-

piggy-back,

and did my brother explain

 

that one's lazy, or

did he tell her the birds are

a little too friendly with the bees

this year?

 

And also, I'm thinking about you

and how some of the best words

(all of my favourite words)

write themselves

as i read them in your eyes;

 

and how a minute is too much

to miss you in.

Author's Note

As always, all polite/relevant reviews are welcome - including constructive critique, grammar and spelling corrections. Finally, thank you for taking the time to read/leave a review!

Reviews

[ice]

Excellent work..top to bottom
But what makes this poem jump from good to great is how it ends.
I rate this poem as great..The ending matches those in some of the best poems I have read..

"and how a minute is too much
to miss you in."
Is as good as this...
"nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands"
(ee cummings)
Both are anchors of fine ships..

I enjoyed reading this poem

[zer0]

This is a good poem. I can see why you beat me in this particular competition. The conversational tone and simple to the point language work very well. I also like the light hearted mood and the way you tie it all together with a strong, somewhat heavier ending. Well done.

[c.m.]

My absolute favorite piece from my recent contest. I adored this piece....well worth the read. Bravo.

[TheFemininePad]

An interesting read, and a very unique viewpoint. I think you did a good job here. I had to reread your poem a few times to understand what you are conveying here in this poem. You entered this poem into my unique and original writings contest, and I think it fits the theme.