Glass Bottomed Birds

A friend of mine changed his facebook status to the quote at the beginning and for some reason my reply turned into this poem. Which, clearly, was too long to post in response to him. ;)

He says,

"I’m thinking about realist and

constructivist interpretations

of the diplomatic correspondence

of the Amarna age",

 

and I want to say something that sounds

sagacious. Profound,

like the way the stars make us weep

with the realisation

there are messages in the heavens

that we will never hear;

 

or how thoughts, in a poem become

glass bottomed birds;

or how the eyes lead to the soul

and back again.

 

But really,

I'm thinking about monkeys.

Tiny, tiny little monkeys,

and things that are

rather shiny, like Firefly--

Captain Tightpants,

and the way it made me laugh

when I realised how unconsciously

I adopted their phrase;

 

how unconsciously I added that

to my repertoire for performance

in this every day life

half a world away.

 

And I'm thinking about brine shrimp;

the sea monkeys that are swimming,

riding each other-

piggy-back,

and did my brother explain

 

that one's lazy, or

did he tell her the birds are

a little too friendly with the bees

this year?

 

And also, I'm thinking about you

and how some of the best words

(all of my favourite words)

write themselves

as i read them in your eyes;

 

and how a minute is too much

to miss you in.

Author's Note

As always, all polite/relevant reviews are welcome - including constructive critique, grammar and spelling corrections. Finally, thank you for taking the time to read/leave a review!

Reviews

[ice]

Excellent work..top to bottom
But what makes this poem jump from good to great is how it ends.
I rate this poem as great..The ending matches those in some of the best poems I have read..

"and how a minute is too much
to miss you in."
Is as good as this...
"nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands"
(ee cummings)
Both are anchors of fine ships..

I enjoyed reading this poem

[SilentVerses]

What a lovely idea, as your mind developed the response words flowed and told the truth and they were modest and beautiful, simple and elegant they did not pray to be more, they did not burn an arrogance, they simply languidly walked through corridors of stories and images, they changed metaphors into smiles and placed them into neat little lines, they allowed a symphony to dance in the light of grace, love it.

[Marie Anzalone]

Wow... it is so difficult to capture the way random thoughts lead us astray, inexorably towards the tings that bring or brought us the most joy, thus also being the source of the greatest sadness. The guy speaking sounds like a pretentious boor... and the mind skipping away to sunnier, happier, more reflective and inflective places; was a true delight. Love this one.

[Cynthia]

I love the style of your writing, its actually very attractive, the way you put the readers into the poem! You always bring me a smile on my face when I read your writing, its the emotions that is very strong, and thats something I love about your writing! A totally enjoyable read!
AMazing Job!

[R.J. Seoul]

Again, well done. You've added two new poems to my library.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Excellent.

[HB]

Oh, this is fantastic! Great write. ^.^

[miSS LEaf]

i like monkeys~

[The Villain]

I love your voice, it's a very good style and I appreciate it greatly as I have adopted a similar one myself over the years. My only critique is that there are a few places where there appears to be slightly excessive punctuation. It isn't necessarily incorrect, it just seems awkward and retards the flow at times. for instance, "or how thoughts, in a poem become..." that comma seems unnecessary. Other than that, it is absolutely brilliant and I intend on reading more of your work.

[LJW]

Brilliant.