Life and Hope

No one can see my pain within me

How can any realize how the rapes, the molestation, the abuse, or even being used

Have effected my daily living

No one understand how hard it is to live your live

Afraid that the next person you date will be like those who hurt you

Never really trust people 

Cause you are afraid that you will never be good enough

That you deserved what they did to you

Yet you know that there is nothing in this world

You would wish more then to know why

But sadly you know that all your why questions will never be answered

You wake up in the morning and wonder why 

There are times when you have to push yourself out of bed

Cause you just don't feel like facing the world today

You keep pushing forward in life cause you know 

That there is someone out there that is far off worse then you where ever

Sadly though what people can't understand or even see

That all you have been through has changed who you are 

How you look upon the world

It does not matter how many people tell you that they love you

It does not matter how many people tell you that they won't hurt you

It does not matter how many people tell you that you can trust them

Nothing matters to you anymore

All you can do is just keep on pushing forward

You know that you keep looking for the day that your pain will be wiped away

That you will be able to leave your home without all your fears following you

Just that you can't see that coming

No matter how many times you wish that you could wipe away everything in your past

To be able to have a normal relationship 

You know that deep down in your soul that you probably never change it 

Cause you learn so much about those around you

You learned how to be so strong that it hard for you to be weak

You learned how to never ask for help 

Cause that show weakness, but then you see

When you do actually need the help you can't ask it

For you are too afraid to admit that you are only human

That you need the love that will love you for you

You know that the people you are around know that you are broken

That no matter how much you try you can't be fixed

They need to realize that no matter what 

You are who you are and nothing anyone can say will change that. 

It may be hard to see now, but I am not the person I was growing up

I have changed greatly through everything I have been 

Even when I believe that the only thing I really want to do is give up

I know I can't give up

I must keep fighting forward in hopes to find the answer to a simple

but most difficult question to answer "Why"

I keep on pushing forward in hopes that my pain will be wiped away

I don't want people to feel sorry for me

I don't want people to say "I am sorry for what you through and I understand"

I don't want people trying to fix me since I am broken

What I want is someone who will understand 

My fears and failures but love me all the same

Who accpets that what I have been through but still loves me the same

I don't want someone who loves me the most and just for what they want 

I want someone who see me and knows it will take time

That is what I want, but who knows what the future holds

Reviews

[Edward Lancheister]

real life situation could affect the inner side of our self and make ignorance because we never see the truth in the inside. you could read my poem " in The surface" it describe between truth and lies :)

[Elsie]

Thank you for your wonderful comment and I will make sure I read the poem.

[Edward Lancheister]

your welcome Elsie, for the kindness to share the poem :)