Unlovable

I know I'm unlovable because I don't love myself
I've been ruined by the men that have been inside me
Touched my body
Told me they loved me when they didn't
I want to say I got better but-
I choke up at the words
I lose the air in my lungs and start gasping
Pull at my skin to try to peel it off
My neck where they kissed
Where they'd wrap their hands
My body they'd trace
Where they'd pick out every little flaw
You tell yourself you're strong and will get over it
You sit in bed when it hits you
At school, at work, in the store, during dinner
You're ruined
You're disgusting
A w***e, I hate you
I hate me
I'm unlovable because I can't love myself
Do you think I believe you when you say you love me
That's almost as believable as me saying I'm pretty
We both know what that means
I feel stupid for the things I felt
The breath taking moment of the first I love you
The first promise to stay forever
Then it turns into the first broken promise
The first lie
I'm unlovable bc of who I turned into
Change my hair, get bangs
Stop eating, -26 lbs never looked so fat
Change your makeup, look more mature
You're alone
You want to know why
Because you're unlovable
No one else will want you bc of the things put inside you
Bc the hands that have been on you
You're ruined inside and out
You're broken
No one else will want you it's not their job to fix you
So they leave you
What the f**k did you expect
You are unlovable
A stupid
Worthless
Unlovable c**t
I wish you'd die
I wish you'd finally break through that skin
I wish you'd die
You are so unlovable
You won't be missed
You're unlovable