An Inner Disjunction

-Recurring melancholy- Please disregard the type of writing, as there are limited options and this is prose not poetry! It is intended to be more of a journal entry than anything else. Thanks!

There are times when I feel like a mere observer in life. I feel utterly disconnected from people, the world, nature and myself. I am surrounded by people, I interact with them, I feel for them but somehow there is this undeniable, insurmountable and unyielding feeling of isolation that dulls and numbs every fiber of my being.

I feel broken, unable to express my thoughts, emotions, apprehensions with anyone including myself because I too am in the dark.

Troubled kids always say they are misunderstood and maybe they are, but I think the true misunderstanding stems from an inner disjunction. That incapacity to decipher one's own feelings.

As of this moment, I am an observer. Unattached, indifferent to the world around me, or so I believe.

Maybe it's the total opposite and I am completely affected, I cannot be certain. Nothing in life is certain. It is only in this constancy of uncertainty that we can be certain.

Of this and the fact that we are on our own. "We alone must walk the path." It is both liberating and heart wrenching to realize.

Sometimes, in moments like these, the recognition of my own self and individuality becomes far too overwhelming to the extent that I feel completely alone inside myself, at a severance with society and the part of me that is latched on to the social world.

Individualism does that.

Sure, we are one interconnected being; but the fact remains that we are all separate parts of one whole. And, at times like these- the division, the tiny gaps between atoms of a molecule become incredibly more acute than the links. 

Author's Note

comments on the writing and the content would be much appreciated. im pretty sure some of you will be able to relate.. i hope haha

Reviews

[Pax]

From some time I felt this kind of feeling, this certain amount of emotions that it started small until it becomes complicated, that i believed it was the product of our own self consume doubt or any other pain we go through in our daily lives. IN some paths of life, it is unavoidable to get lost, but hopefully we'll find our ways, we just have to not give up.

very expressive kabayan, great!

[peculiar]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :)

[Augustus]

I am not sure why this has been categorized as poetry, because this is very obviously prose. However, I like the content. Very interesting thoughts. I have felt the same way quite often, disconnected from everything around me. As far as the style of writing goes, the diction is very assured. Elegant but not pretentious. I feel you become a tad repetitive towards the end with the part about disconnection from society. Also, it should be "atoms of a molecule" instead of "a molecule of atoms". Apart from that blemish, it is a fitting concluding sentence. Leaving the reader with some food for thought.... Well done!

[peculiar]

Yes I agree it is not a poem haha but there are very limited choices for the type of writting, I wasn't left with many options haha. Thanks though I changed my description to explain that and also thank you for pointing out the blemish haha, I revised it! :)

[RAOrourke]

Yes I agree this is a relatable topic and had some nice insight and content that others could find appealing. The part I find lacking is the story line, no real characters, more like a speech about one's self. I feel for this to be a story it needs a plot and well defined character, etc. This almost could be turned into a poem. Have you thought of that?

[peculiar]

Yes thank you for pointing that out! It was meant to be a poem/journal entry, I must've clicked the wrong genre type! Appreciate the commentary :)