On My Way To Bottom

Here, I am, falling down.

I’m wondering how far away the ground is.

I wonder if when I hit if that will be it.

Will it be safer here?

Can I hide myself away?

Can I face this world unafraid?

Can I get my thoughts in order?

 

I hate the way I feel right now.

 

It’s like I’m missing an appendage

And on occasion I can view that appendage from far away and

See it getting on well without me.

Now that I think of it, I’ve lost a lot of appendages.

 

Maybe I am just torso.

 

There was a motor vehicle accident and it changed everything.

It changed the way I feel, the way I talk, the way I look…

even the way things taste.

But, only I can notice it.

Everyone else goes on with their day and

doesn’t seem to realize that I’m grossly disfigured.

 

I can’t have what I want. And I don’t want what I can have.

I am like a little angst ridden child who asked for chocolate

and got tapioca.

Now she curses the pudding industry.