20

memoir of what I experienced 10 years ago

Just now I was in the bathroom, putting my hair up in a ponytail, and this memory came into my head from out of nowhere:

We were all sitting around talking in the trailer. We were on the topic of mistakes and God and other deep things. I started talking about how the things we do make us who we are, and if we let God get involved, it all works out for our good. I then told them that I had and abortion of the age of 18, and they were listening to me, and I was telling them the whole story, when I sensed my guy tense up. I looked over at him and his face was red and all clenched up and angry, then he cussed at me, got up, stormed out of the room, went into the bedroom and yelled out my name and demanded I go in there.

The others just sat there in silence. They'd seen this before, but not how bad it could get, because we somewhat kept it to ourselves. I stood there and yelled out at him that I wasn't going in there with him. He was cussing and demanding it, and the others shook their heads no. My friend said, "Amy don't you dare go in there right now." I had no idea what I had done wrong to offend him so much, he already knew about the abortion, and how on earth could that bother him so much?

After a minute he said, in a lower tone, "Amy will you please come in here so we can talk. I'm not mad." So I went. He was furious. He said I had humiliated him by saying all that stuff in front of the others, that you don't go telling people your personal things, especially not about an abortion, and don't ever talk like that again around him, and never to his friends.



Well. Let me just say, he did manage to leave an impression on my head that night, and like a good girl, I never did go deep in a conversation when his buddies were around, after that. But- years later, I sat down and wrote my testimony. I told it all. I spoke of all my mistakes, including, but not limited to, an overview of my time spent with HIM.

I got more and more bold, and shared it with MANY people. I have overcome my fear of speaking out. I have learned that it's good to tell others what you've done wrong, because you never know who's listening, and just might benefit from it. You never know.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

His advice is very good. I have done many bad things I believe I can't be forgiven for. Better to hold silence than tell people of things we done and now hold regret for. I enjoyed the chapter. A very good lesson is your words. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote