18

memoir of what I experienced 10 years ago

One night I almost got smashed into by an 18 wheeler, or actually, I almost smashed myself into it. The main road that runs through that town is dimly lit in some places, and out where we were, it wasn't lit at all. I guess they just assume that everyone on that road knows what they're doing or something.

So I'm driving down this road, around 65 mph, when I see car headlights in front of me and honking. The car veers over really fast into the next lane, more honking. I thought it was somebody who was drunk, on the wrong side of the road. Again, another car, same thing. I thought, "man this town is filled with drunks." Then, the headlights in my face of a huge truck, more honking, but it didn't swerve over, it was just headed right at me, and I froze, I couldn't do anything, we got closer and closer, and next thing you know, at the last second I swerved the car over to the right, not knowing where I'd land. I landed in a ditch, and a second later the diesel whooshed past me, and I sat there in a daze, wondering what on earth? Does anybody know how to drive around here? It took a minute to collect my thoughts and for my heart to stop pounding, then, I looked over to my right and saw the other side of the road. The side I was supposed to be on.


What's funny is, I finally told my mom about that, and she said that she did the exact same thing, on the same road, on the one time she drove out there to get my daughter for the weekend. So we both almost ended up like roadkill.

I wonder, what would life have been like for my daughter if I would have died that night? Would she have been alright, over time? Or would it have been too much, after losing her uncle as well? Just to think of it all makes me cringe, I can't believe all of this happened, I can't believe I got into this situation and coped like I did. I did it all intentionally, I chose to escape, I wanted to be with him. It was like being underwater and not wanting to come up for air. My older sister called out there one time and was crying, saying, "you can't run from everything much longer, Amy, come home...." But I told her to shut up, that I was handling it all my way, there was no other way, and that I was just fine.

I really was, I think.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Those time where we test life and death. Make us appreciate being alive and our family. I like the way you and the mother shared the same experiences. I like the ending. Sometime we must decide what is right or wrong? Thank you sharing the excellent chapter.
Coyote