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memoir of what I experienced 10 years ago

He was staying with some friends, turns out he had just moved in with them when we met. Days earlier, he had found out that his wife was having an affair. I too had just recently separated, but in my case, we had already filed for divorce. It was a done deal, it had been a long time coming, and although painful, it was also a relief. Not so with him. He was a mess. Maybe this is why I was so attracted to him. He was like a time bomb, but without the time. He went off all the time.

I got the whole scoop on his childhood, and I couldn't get enough of it. I'd be like, "tell me more!", all the time, which made him laugh. He said I made him feel good about himself. This made me feel good. Feel good, feel good, feel good. That was the name of the game. If it felt good, it happened. As if that's how to live. I learned that, in fact, that kind of thinking gets you in all kinds of trouble for sure.

When he first told me his story, I didn't believe it. Then, over time, I realized he was telling the truth. All of it was confirmed when I met his two brothers. The older brother has all the saved newspaper clippings about the trial and conviction of his dad.

Seems that he started off living the high life. Lots of money. His dad had some shady business going. Got the brother-in-law in on it, and they made loads of money. Only problem was, they could only operate for so long before they had to up and leave and go to a new place. I heard all about how he never knew where they would live next, and how sometimes he just remembers being carried to the car in the middle of the night, still half-asleep. Car was all loaded up and ready to go, and they'd drive across the country to the new home that the dad had already set up ahead of time. It was an ongoing thing.

He's lived all over. Sometimes they had to hide. Fortunate for them, the mom had a sister who lived in Cancun, and sometimes they'd go there. I heard all about the boys ordering the servants around, calling from the beach on walkie talkies? (mobile phones? What did they have back then? I don't remember what he said but I know it was cordless) and having them bring cheeseburgers down to them. On the beach. This bothered me. I asked him if he knew how wrong that was, that a kid should use his own two feet and go make his own food, but he said his parents never told him any different. I believe it.

He said that school was not so good. Moving so much prevented forming any real and lasting friendships. Add to that, he was the type of kid who needed individualized attention in class, and he didn't get it. He said he finally just sort of gave up. Don't get me wrong, he's got his own form of genius. Just not the school kind. Sometimes I wonder if we really learn anything of value in school, now that I've spent enough time in the real world. Book smart is worthless when it comes down to it. Trust me, I know.

He always had a sitter. Parents usually gone. At one point in time, his parents drove the boys to another town and left them there to live with a sitter for several months. This woman took good care of them and became somewhat of a mom to them. I've seen her house. Small, old woodframe. She wasn't home. She's an elderly black woman and she loved him. He spoke of her so fondly that it made me get all teary eyed. Just to think of it, that a child would have to experience this. He said it was all good. I just don't know. I said this resulted in him having abandonment issues. He said, ..."what?"

His upbringing was so different than my own. I had never met a person like him. He was a strange one, that's for sure. I told myself he was stranger than me.

Made me feel better.

That's probably the whole thing, right there. The very fact that being around him made me feel like I had it together. In my little fragile world. I was good, he was bad, that's what I told myself. I have wisdom to share, he needs me. He needs comforting. Actually, come to think of it, he said that one time. We were talking about men and women, and he said, "That's what men want, more than anything. Comfort. A man looks to a woman for comfort, and he goes to the one who gives it to him."

Is this true?

I always thought it was sex they were after.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

This is a amazing story. I like the way you are making each situation come alive and for good reasons. I like the history given in the chapter. It is good when two people needed comfort can fall together and learn some kind of peace again. No weakness in the excellent chapter.
Coyote