on the brink of Awakening

This is a journal entry I wrote that reinforces how it's always darkest before the dawn. These words capture the inner struggle of a deeply unconscious mind on the brink of awakening.

What defines a person?

 

What defines a life well spent?

 

How must one tread this steep path of existence without a map to find their way?

 

 

I often preach truths and consider myself endowed with certain answers to the mystical journey of satisfying existence, however I do not know how to reach them.

 

I do not know how to aquire the results yet I believe with every fiber of my being that I have been given the equations.

 

But what is one to do with the tools, with the means to reach that all encompassing end, when they are inept with the understanding of how to use them?

 

I don't for a moment believe that all have been given this ability to see the truth of life and their desired ultimate goals.

 

I hesitate to call this a gift, for at times this eternal wisdom feels like a burden I must carry.

 

 

 

To know what you should be, and to see how beautiful life can be, before you fully possess the capacity to properly employ the necessary steps toward that illuminating future is often debilitating and all consuming in it's very nature.

 

 

 

I feel too much too soon and I know too much too prematurely for this to show to benefit me in any way beyond passionate bursts of verbal wisdom in the shape of outward declarations to a mind unstable.

 

My thoughts reside within me as a knot in my conscious being.

 

Trying to assert my time and energy toward unravelling this knot has shown to inhibit me from making any concrete progress in life outside of my inner struggle that is my current existence.

 

 

 

Visible as clear as any outward reflection of my life, this struggle I've found myself in has infected every papable area of who I appear to be.

 

My symptoms are not unlike those that can be identified when studying the certain prognosis of any man suffering an unwelcome ailment.

 

Attempted treatment goes as follows:

 

Ignoring does nothing more than allow momentary ease but with continued use shows to lead to further growth.

 

Alcohol has shown to cause much ease in times of overwhelming crisis but, as expected, has led to further complications.

 

Writing has shown to make progress on this eternal struggle however is not attaining it's known potential due to a lack of outside analysis and progress in other areas.

The next mode of treatment must be through outside counseling and possible spiritual awakening..

Reviews

[patricia]

i got a lot from this, will store it in my library and think on it a while. realy good. thanks.