The Garden Full of Us

I enter this garden each year, through the same, concrete steps

and find heaven. Not the one with angels and sweet miracles, but sweat

running down the human spine. It burns through wounds on its way, I see

thick-skinned fingers holding a cigarette and smearing the soil on his forehead.

 

I breathe the freedom in, like a starling that sits at the top of the cherry tree

when nothing can intimidate his rapid pulse or forbid him. ‘’This life isn't a commodity’’,

she says, then withdraws. Now, even those sharp spines of gooseberry branches,

tangled around my naked calves, seem less bad-mannered than before.

 

Sunny spells wash the grounds and jab bumble bees. Reluctantly, like Sumo fighters

they move and seek shelter, and the background of bright, colourful flowers 

emerges. The buzzing sound reaches my ears from the shadows. I hear

coals and firewood hitting against the metal barrel. They’re inside the smoke house.

 

I count the minutes and fish bones, and bite through tomatoes, shaped like hearts

salad bowls, on the top of the vinyl clothed table.  All seems fresher than the last year or am I older?

For my vision to become so clear, I must be.  Then the peacefulness blends itself with the fear

and irritates my throat. To never lose this garden, it would be a miracle.

 

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Great wisdom in the ending.
"For my vision to become so clear, I must be. Then the peacefulness blends itself with the fear
and irritates my throat. To never lose this garden, it would be a miracle."
The sea is my place. Always a place I call fall. If only with photos and memory. We need our gardens to keep us sane. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[paulina misiewicz]

Thank you Coyote for your kind words! much appreciated! you're so right we all need those special places to, just like you said, keep us sane. Glad you have yours too :) Once again thank you

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoy your poetry and you are welcome.

[viola]

I like this poem, especially the first two stanzas. I don't fully understand the 3rd stanza. Can sunlight jab? And do bees flee it? They may, it's just a question.
Then the last stanza is great again. I love the line "Then the peacefulness blends itself with the fear
and irritates my throat." What a way to describe coming close to tears!

[paulina misiewicz]

Well it may as well be ;) Thanks for your time and comment viola, appreciate it.

[Daisy]

wow great imagination and words... while reading you feel like you are there too... great poem

[Robert]

Paulina, this is a vivid descriptive piece you have written, kudos to you.

[paulina misiewicz]

Thank you Robert!

[S. COVEY]

haha i love it! very unique, rapid visual transitions kept my mind wandering. fun read, thanks for posting!

[paulina misiewicz]

thanks for taking the time to read and comment

[phantom pains]

Impressive. The images in this poem are powerful. I especially liked the lines "All seems fresher/ Than the last year or am I older?" This line stumped me and through my re-read, encouraged me to ponder. I see it as memories fade, yes, but some dull with lustering magnificense, and just like wine, some things do get better with age even when other substances burn to a crisp.
I also took the time to read your other poem "Chronic": losts of cigarette imagery. For your next poem containing this image, try describing the smoke. I feel like you would excel in detailing it, and let me know if you do.

[paulina misiewicz]

Thank you so much for taking time to read through couple of my poems and leaving such positive, encouraging feedback. I'm always happy to receive one; good or bad.
Your interpretation is spot on. This sentence was meant to express the inevitable changes in our perception due to getting older/ wiser, that make us appreciate things differently.
And lastly, the smoke theme :) sounds like a great idea to me, I'll definitely attempt writing about it. once again, thank you

[phantom pains]

You are most welcome. You have potential. It's always fun to come across dawning writers, such as you, and read these amazing ideas excecuted in different ways.

[paulina misiewicz]

Thank you :)

[FrenchyChan]

I like it but it doesn't really flow. which makes it a little hard to read. But the visualization is wonderful, I really enjoyed it

[paulina misiewicz]

hi, thank you for your positive feedback, also constructive one, always much appreciated :) i guess i was expecting someone to say that it doesn't really flow, as i was trying to avoid writing a prose poem and with all the visualization and a flow on top of it it could have become one, i think. I wanted readers to imagine they're walking through it with me, from a to b, from b to c, without any particular flow, but concentrating on the experience itself, feelings and memories, if that makes sense? but, once again thank you so much for taking time to read and comment!

[paulina misiewicz]

Though i think it's still slightly a prose poem ;)

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

Whatever compells people to skip by without sitting in, and settling down long enough to write any thought whatsoever about this poem confounds my mind. Firstly, this is the best poem I have read all day. It transported me from my a*s in front of the computer to a questioning, feeling, rationalizing why this or that is bringing back memories, this pem if anyone had taken the time to say it, is simply amazing. and i say amazing not to gush. no. it felt great, it held my complete attention. it was fantastic or I am as stoned as a peach right now but i dont think thats the case. Anyway, i think you could cut a few words out and it will stand strong if not stronger. the in front of me is very descriptive and lends me the fact that its your vision but i think in context to it being written by you and is your eyes in the poem that leaving off the in front of me after emerges might make editing sense or maybe its just me but comb thrugh it and tell me what you think if you like. again, great

[paulina misiewicz]

hi Joshua, firstly THANKS SO MUCH for such positive review! review that actually made me scream with excitement :D and then made me speechless...but foremost it made me chuckle a LOT:) (so funny) I am really happy you liked it this much.....as for emerges in front of me...hmmm yeah it was meant to say that the background emerged in front of me..but i think you're right there, it's already obvious that it happens in front off me since i'm describing what i'm seeing/ feeling. So that's a good call/ advice, no need for unnecessary details/ wording. i'll cut that one out. Thanks again!!! Much appreciated

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

Again, you a very welcome to the truth. Fantastic, added directly to the library. Have to go get this when I need a splasjh of words to my face. You write another like this. Loving it!

[paulina misiewicz]

hahahahaha thanks! I sure have few more like that one, atm they are entered into contest outside of here, once they do their job there I'll splash them all over here ;)