Those Weren't the Last Words

I will always love you.

You were the first to ruin me.

They weren't my last words

they were never my last words

i peeled myself open for you 

in places that made me bleed

then i peeled my chest open

and my heart fell out

but i wonder if you heard 

when it shattered

on the floor right in front of you

you're so dark 

yet something about you

makes me grow flowers in the pit of my stomach. 

i still can't listen to my favorite songs

they were ours for too long 

and every time someone mentions your name

i want to scratch myself until i'm bloody

do you still remember what we were?

a thousand words i could say to you

i want my health back

you took everything

i want to be able to move on 

don't call me baby anymore

i cant even sleep to escape you

you're there with me

night is the worst,

when my stomach destroys itself

and my mind starts to miss you

i just want you to be happy, 

even if its without me

I loved you more than life itself.

You smelled like flowers.