I Watched You Go

Confusion. Chaos. Desires that are wrong.

I watched you go.

I remember the days when you were stable, and blood didn't come from your mouth on a regular basis, and I even remember when you would take me to the park and it wouldn't have to be me steering you around everywhere in a squeaky wheelchair. And the truth is, desire lurked in my heart, much like the newfound hatred that was collecting in the darkest pits of my mind.

Maybe I hated myself for hating you.

What desire

did I hold?

Because it surely

wasn't any desire

to help

you.

No, I had such strong desires to leave, walking on the sand of a beach in neverland, no more worrying if you're okay. If I didn't care, if I left you to die, there would be no more suffering.

It's not that I wanted

to watch you go.

I simply wanted you

to be gone already.

Because your lingering presence

has already taken a toll on my mind.

And if you were gone,

then so would my worries be.

But of course I stayed, and like the lovely daughter I was, I watched you decay in a lonely hospital bed, mom was dead, and so was aunt Beth. Yes, you were the only one left.

I watched the sunlight

leave your eyes

in a midnight race

to the sky.

But I still can't tell

if you went underground

or if you stayed around

to haunt me.

Because everywhere I look

I keep reliving the moment when

I watched you go.

Author's Note

I don't even know what this is.

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Well...for not knowing what this is...sounds pretty good in the 3 paragraphs I just read...the fall of love ones and the only one that's left is your father...and watching him decay into oblivion seems the case of the matter in the lines...

[Moebia]

Thank you!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You're welcome...