no title

when the only magic left

is the light

on the water

and if it wasn't for the madness

the sun could shine through.

when only the sky

and the sea its daughter

nothing left, except me

without you.

Reviews

[.]

. if i could find you ... i could be ... something ... and not ... nothing ... i could be me ... and you could be you too ... and we could be ... beyond the madness ... of me and you ... just us ... and the universe ... just love ... coffee and verse ...

[Nothing Personal]

magic hides
water shines
you and me
leave
holding hands

magic dies
water cries
you and me
stay
caged
forever

[EmpressPoetess]

sad, but written very profoundly with deep emption. Great job!

[Sheemai]

I can feel the sadness of separation through your words. Beautifully done!

[Siddhartha]

For someone new...you have a remarkable gift that's only given to few...:)...a deeply allegorical work my friend...gives credence to my belief that divinity lies in brevity...
Amazing write...keep it up...

[Ed Hart]

the endlessly bleeding heart...it can make poetry forever

[Narnie]

You describe the solitude well and poignantly. Luckily, we only have to turn around to find more.

[Kerry O'Connor]

You have a remarkable ability to work with the most sparse of images and open an entire world of possibilities. I love this style and the idea behind the piece is spot on the sore spot of the human condition.

The image of the sea as daughter of the sky really nailed this poem for me.

[em]

- me without you - and empty eyes - that look for a smile - that can reflect in the sky - yes - some magic - a lot of magic, actually - enogh to fling the sound of laughter at the heavens - just love, and coffee and verse like serah said - yes - enough for that - and then some more -

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

You write in such a moving manner..always so poignant and so subtly yet profoundly sad.

[Lilly Negoi]

loneliness sharpening its fangs on your words :)