----

holding thoughts

like holding

 my breathe

shutting off 

a waterfall

skies

empty

of clouds

suns abandoned 

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

We can only hold our breathe for so long before we gasp harshly for fresh air. Our thoughts are much the same. If one does not speak their mind then there mind will find a way to break free to express. Good comparisons in this poem and deep in thought.

[Alicante lullaby]

lovely,little,lasting thought here...

[Emily B]

ooooh, what a pretty little thought!

[TAO]

Sometimes that's a good thing (if you're in a desert). So...what can I say about this... It's stark (which is not a bad thing). Nicely done, indeed.

[Dani]

Damn. I love your writing.

[Isolophobe]

ITs like a clusterfuck without the cluster. So all you have is what's fucked. The second stanza is one of the most brilliant pieces of imagery I've read from you. An amazing concept too.

[Jaidyn DeVoir]

Holding thoughts like holding your breathe, for what reason...I am curious, why would you hold your thoughts? Let them run free.

With Love

Jaidyn

[Emily B]

ooooh, paul, this is nice

[Lilly Negoi]

for some reason those "abandoned suns" in the end give me a feeling of mortuary, after all the previous refraining - absolute emptiness...

[em]

- whoa - you really are - the master, mister - i agree with serah - these silences - they coat the soul - in such haze - there's a great song called 'shunya' (which means zero) - by a genius band called indian ocean - that has a line - 'khaali khaalli si jaan main - khaali sa khayal hai' - translated in spirit - it would be - an empty thought - in an empty life -
- that's where your masterpiece took me - these are morphed silences - and they silence - like spears going through wounds -
- the intensity of what and how much your words evoke - is surreal!!! -