smow

when the days nighttime

and the nighttimes day

everyone remembers

to stay away

pristine loneliness

pristine alone

noone wants to make tracks

in my cold snow

Reviews

[...]

. i smow agree with you, you brilliant mind and brilliant s(m)oul ...

he's there
he's there
somewhere out there
but he won't make tracks
in my warm glow

so my night times the day
and my day times the night
and i keep wondering
where he is
and if he is alright

[Narnie]

I've read several of your poems over the past few days - they remind me of a (slow motion) hot potato being flipped between left/right hands. They are a pleasure to read.

[.]

. oh, i just had to be back to tell you ... how amazingly beautiful and surreal and intensely deep this mesmerizing poem is ... and i'm gonna kill them ... those who won't make tracks ...

[Wolf Cub]

i like it, the emotions are hard to find in this on though but i love how its worded and that is short and sweet :)

keep it up
cant wait to see more

Wolf xx

[Desert Dreamer]

The pristine snow is so beautiful one doesn't want to ruin it's beauty. This is what happens when we isolate ourselves in these beautiful places. A wonderful poem.

[...]

i won't stay away
i won't stay away
no matter how many times
the nighttimes day

[Elizabeth]

The last line has such power and grace. The piece is elegant and clean. No word is wasted. I loved this.

[Geralyn Miller]

Gentle, sorrowful; sometimes we are frozen in our pain and keep at arm's length those who could assuage the agony.

[StoryPosterShane]

really good :)

[Michael X]

wow, such a poem of tragic suffering and the title is awsome, I agree with
your best reviewer, the ending is heartaching, the opening has a great
balance of opposition and contrast, its equally conjurativeinforming
the meaning, to bid the heart farewell to loneliness.

[Robin]

smooth ~