desperation is my calling card
A Poem by
paul
I talk to dreams
you'd talk to anything
when it's been this long
you'd beg the sun for an ear
to bend
you'd chase the wind
to cliff's edge
just for someone to catch
your soundwave
desperation is my calling card
© 2010 paul
Reviews
I would talk to you any time
Posted 14 Years Ago
So short and full of despair, the description in this poem is magnificent, great job.
Posted 14 Years Ago
So short and full of despair, the description in this poem is magnificent, great job.
my god, in all my writing, i haven't said it better. the middle two stanzas are so f*****g brilliant.
Posted 14 Years Ago
my god, in all my writing, i haven't said it better. the middle two stanzas are so fucking brilliant.
Hey Paul...
Lovely first line. It sets a plaintive mood...and the final line is lovely and fresh! Very creative.
Within the poem, the third and fourth stanzas contain slightly overused phrases, like "ear to bend" and "cliff's edge", although the preceding parts of each stanza ("you'd beg the sun", etc) are solid. I would delve a little deeper to replace the generalities, and then you have a very wonderful poem!
"Just for someone to catch your soundwave" is also lyrical and surprising.
Good job!
Posted 14 Years Ago
Hey Paul...
Lovely first line. It sets a plaintive mood...and the final line is lovely and fresh! Very creative.
Within the poem, the third and fourth stanzas contain slightly overused phrases, like "ear to bend" and "cliff's edge", although the preceding parts of each stanza ("you'd beg the sun", etc) are solid. I would delve a little deeper to replace the generalities, and then you have a very wonderful poem!
"Just for someone to catch your soundwave" is also lyrical and surprising.
Good job!
desperation is my calling card
but i don't have a number to call
desperation is my calling card
and that's why i'm so small
so small, so small, so small i am
except in little amsterdam
there the sky is all mine
oh i forgot the next line
Posted 14 Years Ago
desperation is my calling card
but i don't have a number to call
desperation is my calling card
and that's why i'm so small
so small, so small, so small i am
except in little amsterdam
there the sky is all mine
oh i forgot the next line
oh wow this is incredible. really great poem! :D
Posted 14 Years Ago
oh wow this is incredible. really great poem! :D
Great poem. Lovely descriptions and this piece flows really well.
Posted 14 Years Ago
Great poem. Lovely descriptions and this piece flows really well.
...crud... This is great... But now I feel weird conversing with my own thoughts... Thanx. :)
Posted 14 Years Ago
...crud... This is great... But now I feel weird conversing with my own thoughts... Thanx. :)
Sometimes, my dreams talk back to me, which I personally think is good. As to your write, an excellent expression once more in your special style of that state many of us go through.
Posted 14 Years Ago
Sometimes, my dreams talk back to me, which I personally think is good. As to your write, an excellent expression once more in your special style of that state many of us go through.
wow, such an emotional context driven to desperation, chasing wind
off a cliff, calling card of loneliness, there are many featires that bring this
poem to life with sensitivity and structure. so subtle and easy to understand
in context of the metaphor, i believe you've done a great job here, awsome.
Posted 14 Years Ago
wow, such an emotional context driven to desperation, chasing wind
off a cliff, calling card of loneliness, there are many featires that bring this
poem to life with sensitivity and structure. so subtle and easy to understand
in context of the metaphor, i believe you've done a great job here, awsome.
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Added on September 25, 2010
Last Updated on September 25, 2010
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