desperation is my calling card

desperation is my calling card

A Poem by paul

I talk to dreams

you'd talk to anything
when it's been this long

you'd beg the sun for an ear 
to bend

you'd chase the wind
to cliff's edge

just for someone to catch
your soundwave

desperation is my calling card

© 2010 paul


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I would talk to you any time

Posted 14 Years Ago


So short and full of despair, the description in this poem is magnificent, great job.

Posted 14 Years Ago


my god, in all my writing, i haven't said it better. the middle two stanzas are so f*****g brilliant.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Hey Paul...

Lovely first line. It sets a plaintive mood...and the final line is lovely and fresh! Very creative.

Within the poem, the third and fourth stanzas contain slightly overused phrases, like "ear to bend" and "cliff's edge", although the preceding parts of each stanza ("you'd beg the sun", etc) are solid. I would delve a little deeper to replace the generalities, and then you have a very wonderful poem!

"Just for someone to catch your soundwave" is also lyrical and surprising.

Good job!

Posted 14 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
desperation is my calling card
but i don't have a number to call
desperation is my calling card
and that's why i'm so small

so small, so small, so small i am
except in little amsterdam
there the sky is all mine
oh i forgot the next line

Posted 14 Years Ago


oh wow this is incredible. really great poem! :D

Posted 14 Years Ago


Great poem. Lovely descriptions and this piece flows really well.

Posted 14 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
TAO
...crud... This is great... But now I feel weird conversing with my own thoughts... Thanx. :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Sometimes, my dreams talk back to me, which I personally think is good. As to your write, an excellent expression once more in your special style of that state many of us go through.

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow, such an emotional context driven to desperation, chasing wind
off a cliff, calling card of loneliness, there are many featires that bring this
poem to life with sensitivity and structure. so subtle and easy to understand
in context of the metaphor, i believe you've done a great job here, awsome.

Posted 14 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

410 Views
20 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 25, 2010
Last Updated on September 25, 2010

Author

paul
paul

Writing
Christmas Christmas

A Poem by paul


CPW CPW

A Poem by paul


still still

A Poem by paul



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..