and now

and now

that I have somebody to listen

I have nothing left to say

too many years

alone

in the hole

that now sunshine

hurts

and a look from you

melts me

like the sea melts the shore

your fake love

has grounded my 

rocket ship

has me starting

over and over

at step one

when there are

so many left to go

Reviews

[...]

. spinning in circles and back to square one somehow? ... i like step one ... it keeps me going ... on the rare occasion that i made it to step 2 ... i've deliberately tripped myself ... so that i land on step one ... do you know why? ... i'd like to taxi on step one for a bit ... and then just fly to the last step ... may i borrow your rocket? ...

[Crinkle°]

good! you write feelings in a very real manner.

[Brad]

and there it is, bro, another day...perhaps another mistake...but who's countin?

[emmah]

snakes and ladders - at 99 - you get bitten so bad - you're back at 1 - damn that 1!!!! home at 1, maybe - make it a 100 - oh what the hell!!! make it a 1,000,000 - who cares - 1's home - and we like it here!!!! home's where the broken heart is truly, really, totally broken. and it's still ok. where that sliver of sunshine stealing into the darkness is banished at will - only to let the sunshine in - whenever we want it - not whenever it wants in!!!

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

The first 6-8 lines took my heart away..so poignant and so full of subtle angst.

[raining]

ah the dramamine of life cannot enbalm the feelings that swell from the circumstance of love.

(whatever that even means)
no, but seriously, I kind of like the skinnyness of the poem, you are telling the true thing, the double take sort of: now that "i have somebody to listen i have nothing left to say"

that line frees you to be able to say the rest of the poem. i like the sunshine being used as a metaphore, and the way you use it as segway into the way the sea melts the shore,

then the "rocket ship" is cast in there, that is good i nthink because it is so opposite, and then brings the reader to another metaphore, that of "starting over".

So, the poem has that connected ness which makes it work and keeps the poem interesting. Thanks, raining.

[Robin]

you have tied this together very well , the last stanzas are perfect

[Emily B]

I wonder about fake love. I never met that animal. I suppose it would be enough to ground a flying vessel.

But I know, that silence born of contentment can be golden