Note

I found this on her dressing table...

"Hanging in the forest,

Swinging from a tree.

I wonder why

You can't look at me.

I've got to get out.

I can hear the sound.

Through the window

I fall,

To the ground

Better wake up -

I've been here before.

Better wake up -

Before

I

Hit

The

F

l

o

o

               r               

The rope is used to hold me down -

Twisted, knotted and worn.

You see my face, the tragic clown -

We die before we're born.

Stumbled into a trap

And can't be free,

Just like the birds

Up in the tree.

Look to another branch

And they see me.

Don't stare for long,

Just fly away.

Hanging in the forest,

Swinging from a tree.

Let's play a game,

'One, two, three...!'

It's time to hide

But I'll be found

Floating and tied,

Feet off the ground.

Better wake up -

I've been here before.

Better wake up -

Before

I

Hit

The

F

l

o

o

               r               

This sunny day has come and gone -

Now clouds and rain and grey.

Now it's just me, the lonely one -

The hunter and the prey.

And if they still do come

To check me in my room,

I won't be there,

I'm in my tomb -

And uncover the note,

Written in gloom,

Don't cry for long,

Just fly away..."

Reviews

[David Broderick]

Much better without the big a*s spaces. I enjoyed the connection between the third and last stanzas. Again, the images you can conjure with your writing are very potent; I've enjoyed what you've wrote so far immensely.

[Catriona Elliott]

I like the repetition and the image of 'the tragic clown'. I do think the huge spaces are maybe a bit too huge, although I see what you were doing with them. It's harder getting things like that to work online, paper is so much more co-operative.