Raindrops

Prose poem.

 

Raindrops

 

          A raindrop, a sign from God, a hot summer night in my living room as I listen to the radio and think of my love, missing him and feeling joy over being in love, longing to be with him. I listen to the songs, songs of love. I want them to be dedicated to me. I imagine the songs are for me, sending me messages, filling me up, thinking my love is singing to me.

 

          I can’t recall the tune. The beautiful yellow flowers on the coffee table I brought for my mother. They begin to shake. Am I going crazy? Just a quick shudder. I read the paper looking for stories about me. Is my ego big or are they sending me messages?

 

          I lay back, the radio plays on. I know every song. I sing along. I can only recall the joy thinking the radio is sending me messages.

 

          I look above the fire place to the mirror. Family pictures and religious mementos stand on the mantle. I see a tear hit the mirror from above. What is that? I pick up the phone to call my love. I tell his machine of my vision and then another drop and another. Am I insane? Am I hallucinating?

 

          As I listen to the radio and the music keeps me company, I start to hear the rain drops. I don’t see them, I just hear them, sprinkling through the living room and dining room. I think of the assigned seats that my family sits in. Is it grief for that particular member? I’m scared. Is it God sending me a message? I feel scared. If I only knew what it meant.

 

          Should I go to bed? I can’t sleep, too much soda and cigarettes. Nothing like listening to the radio, drinking soda and smoking cigarettes. I can build my own fantasy world. Feeling so deep in love with life and love itself, I’m on top of the world, filled with love, but wait, tears are falling around me.

 

          Three years later tears flowing from my eyes on a continual basis. I wish I could recapture the innocence of the love I felt that night. Will there be more tears or more love? Will there be more insanity? 

 

          Only God knows.