The Blacksmiths Misadventures

The structure is interesting. I had trouble keeping pace with the very long paragraphs. The two breaks with the title were odd, I expect they were just there on accident.

You have a unique style. I don't know how to describe it though. The only problem I saw was your first paragraph had quite a few "The ---" sentences, 12 to be exact. There were quite a few in the rest of the writing as well. Also, the first paragraph seems to be a bit wordy, too much description can dissuade readers from continuing.

Once I made it through there and got over the long paragraphs, I found the story easy to read. I look forward to seeing where it goes from here!

Posted 8 Years Ago

An interesting story. I like your characters, but it is very heavy on description at the start. You don't need to describe everything in such detail. Rather, you should paint a picture that lets us fill in the details.

You have a lot of potential here, though. Keep it up...

Posted 8 Years Ago

The structure is interesting. I had trouble keeping pace with the very long paragraphs. The two breaks with the title were odd, I expect they were just there on accident.

You have a unique style. I don't know how to describe it though. The only problem I saw was your first paragraph had quite a few "The ---" sentences, 12 to be exact. There were quite a few in the rest of the writing as well. Also, the first paragraph seems to be a bit wordy, too much description can dissuade readers from continuing.

Once I made it through there and got over the long paragraphs, I found the story easy to read. I look forward to seeing where it goes from here!

Posted 8 Years Ago