free as a bird

have you felt, if life isn't fulfilling enough,
have you felt if a vital piece in the jigsaw puzzle is missing-
and that you are stuck in this monotone routine -
with grey colours surrounding you
people just look at you as if you were a nobody-

like unnecessary space with no meaning in this beautiful world
People speeding past you
I feel out of touch with the modern pace of life
standing in the middle of the chaos
trying to scream for attention but-
the sounds echoes back from the glass walls

I just wish i could be with all the other birds
beautifully dancing to the rhythm of inner life
letting life float you away to the paradise
where scenery is breath taking and water is crystal clear -
only in fantasies water can be this perfect
water is so pure that gently washes away your sadness
sun softly drying your skin.

I loving closing my eyes for moment or two
imagining how it feels to be a bird
soaring through skies without a care in the world
what would it feel like to be up in the sky -
discovering landscape that no man has seen before
it's a amazing feeling to have a purpose and a place -
in this life
But what if you have lost that inner spirit
you just another human stuck in the cage
dying slowly like a plant without water

Reviews

[Jack...]

This was nicely written, the struggles of life...everyone experiences them from time to time, but we can also be free as this bird you admire if we want to. Often the only one holding us back is ourself. Reach for the sky and fly within your imagination and someday you will find that it all can come true.

[Courtney]

Yes, most of the time. Freedom is a thing we all seem to desire.

[patti]

well all desire freedom but very few people actually have it...

[Nick.B]

Amazing imaginary, reminded me of the old rock song "free bird"....great job

[patti]

im glad when my work jots memory of people, thank you

[Ohhhwillow]

Little edits: "you" in the first stanza should probably be "you're" or "you are"
"if you were a nobody", perhaps you mean "as if you were a nobody"? :)

Few bits like that, but overall I really enjoyed this. You have a very natural use of imagery! I felt very close to you through this, your thoughts, feelings, perceptions of the world.

Try to punctuate in order to bring extra force and strength to your words, as well as style, obviously that is just my advise and feel free to ignore it but well done, you have some very strong and hearty ideas! :)

[patti]

thank you, i very much appreciate the little errors, i will make the adjustment

[Jesse Jacques]

wow i loved this. just amazing description. great job

[patti]

thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"you just another human stuck in the cage
dying slowly like a plant without water"
Most of us are caged up and don't know it. I tell the young people. Travel, test life and have some fun. We have 50 years of work. Why rush to lose freedom to money and responsibility. I like the description and the ending. Some people are dead and don't know it. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[patti]

yes that what i believe in, young people rush so quickly into the cage that we forget there is life outside the cage and we should grab it with both hands... thanks :)

[.]

Great job, Patti. There are a lot of emotions that are in this poem, and I think we all feel that sense of loss attention once in a while. But as a writer, I think feelings like this give us one hell of a muse to write and reflect. Great job. My favorite line was

"I just wish i could be with all the other birds
beautifully dancing to the rhythm of inner life
letting life float you away to the paradise
where scenery is breath taking and water is crystal clear."

[patti]

is when we loss attention from people is that when we start question life and our surroundings... thank you :)

[quinfinn]

yeh, i am very aware of this feeling. being invisible is what i call it. the world crashes all around you, things and life just fly by at breakneck speed and you are left holding sand. you have chosen your words well and this piece speaks volumes. awesome write!

[patti]

yeah all you have left to do is just watch as everything flying past... thank you :)

[quinfinn]

you're welcome