Electric Enthusiasm

 

“You know the nighttime

Is the right time

To be

With the one you love now…”

And I’m so glad that night falls at quarter to 5

Cause I know in 15 he’ll arrive

And the first thing on his mind

will be me.

 

He’s such a tease

The way he gently caresses me

Running his fingers over my slight frame

Claiming his aim is to look at things differently.

But I know I’m the true object of his fantasy.

 

He knows my spot

And I love when he turns me on;

It makes me feel like I’m the dawn of his tranquility.

His touch causes electricity to rush up my spine and make water flow free

From my nether region

 

So appeasing to be a part of this love scene

To be seen as a love being

As a being of light

To know he’ll always fight for me…

I love being a lamp and me and this light bulb make a great team.

Reviews

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

It needs to be longer!

"It makes me feel like I’m the dawn of his tranquility.
His touch causes electricity to rush up my spine and make water flow free
From my nether region"
Love these lines. Very natural and flirty, but I want more from it. The lines about are almost getting me started, then it ends. But it ends well nonetheless. Love the Ray Charles in the beginning too!

[Mr_Deathly]

"Hey who is this guy, I got to talk to him" lil bro

[24KMind]

Yeah...I agree with Bridge...there is DEFINITELY more in you for this piece!! Has a great flow though...Dig DEEPER!! You ALWAYS step correct, so I expect NOTHING LESS!!! LOL Love you Sis and sorry it took me SO LONG to get to this!

[Liza]

you are definitely filled with passion
it is oozing out of you everywhere
what a delightful play on all the senses

[Ed Rector]

good freestyle...

[Jinx's Heart]

It doesn't seem too short for me. Some authors like keeping some mysteriousness to their work and let the reader use their imaginations. This was so beautiful and brings out such a wonderful scene of unity between lovers. I really liked this. Good job.

[passion]

I know this piece is shorter than you may be used to from me, but there's a story behind that. This piece was actually written on a whim when one of my besties texted me and needed an idea for his poetry class. The pretext was pretending to be a being that was non-human and feeling either wonderful or anxious about something. I wrote this via text and I had to write quick and keep it at four stanzas. Hope you enjoy!