Afterthoughts of a Conversation with Me and Maybe Might've Been

 

 

 

Afterthoughts of a Conversation with Me and Maybe Might’ve Been

 

In conversing with me

it was he

who asked

What I feel for him

But why?

when he only wants to be my

Maybe, might’ve been…

Miles apart with gap bridged by word selection

at the intersection of mind and spirit

he kept asking but didn’t really wanna hear it

cause there was a possibility

that he would fall for me

And I for him

that he would

make me feel again

what i did then

way back

when

i wasn't afraid to love

i wasn't betrayed by love

when i was in love with love

 

He thinks I’m dope

so he tries to keep me encouraged and filled with hope

(he don’t know about my secret fantasy where we run off and elope)

My mind is my art so he says I’m smart

Sexy, funny, just cute as a bunny

and make my own money

I’m his stubbornly racist, wonderful grace that’s

Eclectic, poetic, a little bit deaf

if

I really can’t be bothered

Or

He’s starting to holler

 

I’m just a whole big mess

But to him

I’m a princess…

 

But he won’t let me love him

And he refuses to love me

So when he asks if I’m ok

I adamantly

But apparently

Not too convincingly

Tell him I’m fine

But inside I’m crying

And the candle that burns exclusively

For love,

The flame is dying

Burning out

Last flicker

And here I am wondering Why

do I pick

the one’s

who can’t love me back?

How do I manage to attract

or be attracted to

Those I’m destined to lose?

Those I’ll never have?

Or even more ridiculously,

the Ones that treat me bad?!

 

I can’t even be mad

And I’m not;

Just a little sad

Cause I know I could be everything to him

But all he’ll ever be to me is

Maybe, might’ve been…

(sigh)

Oh well…

Reviews

[passion]

I wrote this piece a year ago and I've kept it sitting under wraps for all this time b/c this piece is so personal and I didn't want my feelings anymore trampled then they already were when I wrote it. Now that I'm past that particular vulnerability, I feel comfortable in sharing and getting some feedback for it. Hope you enjoyed!