Fear of Rejection

I'm proud...
I'm selfish
I make mistakes
I am a disgusting w***e
I commit sins that make the conservatives cringe
I have a fear of rejection
I don't want to be alone
I need people around me
They know about my sins
They know I am selfish
They know sure as hell how proud I am
And yet, they still love me
I can't love, I say
It's not something you feel, they say
I know that, I just can't love
I am too caught up in myself to love...
I hate myself, but yet I am selfish...
I know how to lust...I know how to hate...I know how to like...
But how do I learn how to love?
I carve that word into my arms and legs, maybe it'll give me a sense of what love is...but it doesn't
I wish I could share this with you...
I want to get all these things off my chest.
Why can't I just talk to you?
You captivate me, but that makes me feel like a fool.
Why do I fall in lust so easily?
Have I no self control?
I want to love...love you...love my friends and family...love God...
I want to be able to love myself...in the none selfish way...
I want to appreciate God's masterpiece...
 

Reviews

[Wild Thunder]

Sounds so darkly not having love. With all my problems that is one thing I know I do have... love. I hope one day you do learn to love. Perhaps you do but you just dont know it yet. Anyways you will be in my prayers.