For my Friend Hero

I thank you for your strenth.

Dear Hero,

 

                Cutting is different for everyone. For me, it’s a way to keep my emotions in check; a way to make sure I don’t go crazy. Right now, I’m going through a lot of stress and pain.

                Dylan was someone who I really trusted and loved so much. I let him know my emotions, and I normally never tell anyone how I truly feel. I loved him so much. He has so far been the only person who has been able to make me stop cutting. There was an incident in particular I want to tell you about. Actually quite a few incidents I want to tell you about. But let’s start with this one.

                So was in like October. Dylan’s family invited me to go on a camping trip with them. Just for one day. So anyway we were sitting down watching a movie in the camper, and I just had some weird panic attack and I started to dig my nails into my arms. Dylan noticed and held my arms down telling me over and over again that I didn’t need to cut myself. That he was there for me. It made me stop. He did that quite a few times for me. I’m so thankful that he did. However it hurt Dylan so much that I made an effort to stop and I did for a few months.

                So a like a month ago, I cut myself again. Which you found out and practically killed me, then Natalie thought I had given Dylan another hickey again, and that giant mess. Dylan was more ok with it then. I don’t know why though. So anyway that was ok at the time.

                Now it’s March 25 and I am sad to say that I cut myself yesterday. Dylan is now no longer mine. I really loved him and its taking a lot to control my emotions so yesterday I cut myself again to try and control myself and take my mind off the pain. It worked and I really want to cut now. I’m really sorry Hero. I’m so sorry about me cutting, about Laura and about a lot in general. But you still pull through, I’m really proud of you for not collapsing because I know I would never have been as strong as you haven been If I had been put in your place.

Love

Paris/ Mommy

Author's Note

I have a friend named Hero (yeah i kno awsome name), and as much as i hate to say it, he's a hell of a lot stronger thani have ever been and for her i want to expain someting hat she's kinda lost on.