Chapter 2

Everyone in the room looked at me. I just looked the other way and studied the white walls that annoyed me so much. My mother let out a loud sob and my father tried to comfort her. The lady at the front desk just sighed, but I heard nothing from the man. So I turned around and looked at him. He was looking at me with a curious look on his face. Finally, he smiled and winked at me, then did something I wasn’t expecting for someone to ever do for me.

“I think I’ll hold onto this for Faith. It would be quite rude for her to never get it back. After all it is hers.” The man said in a matter-a-fact manner I wasn’t expecting. He grabbed the knife from the table and pocketed it.

The nurse made a move to protest him taking it, but he held up a hand to stop her. She sighed again and then continued to search the rest of the bags, where she found nothing else.

After that my parents said an awkward goodbye and then they left me. For at least ten minutes I stood there just looking at the door they had walked out of. They had finally left me alone, but it wasn’t better, it hurt more. It hurt me to think they were willing to leave me in a place that I wasn’t comfable with; where I had no friends. It hurt more than it made me feel better.

“Ya know, this might hurt to say to you, but they aren’t going to come back and get you. You’re stuck with me and everyone else here. But anyway, you should go to your room, drop off your things, and then come to my office. Our first meeting starts today in about 20 minutes. See you then.” He whispered, “Oh, and you can call me Jesse.” And then he was gone.

I turned around and walked up to the lady who was waiting to walk me to my room and then to Jesse’s office. We walked in silence down the halls that were painted the same white color that was in the main lobby. The white was going to kill me.

We stopped in front of doorway that was missing its door. There was one bed inside the room, one closet, and a nightstand with a lamp and digital clock. Once again it was white.

“This is your room, Faith. Your parents said that you don’t work well with anyone who you haven’t known for a while so we decided to put you in a room by yourself. Sorry about the white, I can tell you’re annoyed by it. Maybe we can convince someone to repaint it. Oh, and my name is Ruby, if you need anything in your stay here, feel free to ask me.” She smiled at me,” alright now let’s get you to your appointment.”

We walked down the halls again, but this time I felt a bit more at ease. Ruby seemed nice and understanding.

Ruby left me in a room which only had two ways into other rooms: the door leaving back into the hall and then the door leading into his office. I waited in silence for him to open the door and invite me in. I waiting and waited. Finally the door opened and a girl with tears streaming down her face walked out. So I walked past her and into the office.

Jesse stood in the corner by a window. I slowly closed the door behind me. It made a small click and he turned to look at me. A smile spread across his face. But I could see that in the depths of his eyes some type of sorrow was there. Almost like it was haunting him all the time and he didn’t know how to escape it. But wasn’t he suppose to be the one who was alright; he wasn’t suppose to be like me who was always upset and didn’t know any better with how to react to the sadness that over powered me.

“Glad to see you made it Faith.” he said; his voice sounded distant. His eyes looked that way too.

“Yeah. The nurse made sure I got here on time, which is good I guess.” I stood quietly, wanting to run out the door, and run home to my friends, where they would comfort me, tell me not to worry, that everything was going to be alright.

“ The girl you saw, walking out my office door before you came in; she also used to cut herself. Her story I think, is a bit different from yours though. She’s even attempted suicide. But, I’ve read your record, and from the story that I’m picturing in my head, you’ve been cutting for 4 years and you’ve never once attempted suicide. Am I right?”

How? How did he know? No one knows that much except for Jake. No one knows that much about me.

He looked me straight in the eye, then gave me a smile.

“Faith, sometimes, people don’t need to be told things to assume correctly. But I will tell you, I was a bit surprised that you haven’t tried suicide. Most people try within the first year, but you managed to stay strong. Suicide is very tempting. I should know.” He whispered quietly.

“Why should you know? Aren’t you suppose to be the one who doesn’t have any problems?” I was amazed that it came out of my mouth.

“Sometimes, the people who are best at fixing others are the ones who have been messed up.’

I was about to say something. But I didn’t. What did he mean by saying that he should know how tempting suicide is? Too many thoughts were beginning to enter my head. He just stared at me with eyes that held too much sorrow to even begin to explain. I decided to let it go. To tell him openly, and not have everything forced out of me.

“It did start 4 years ago. I was just beginning 7^th grade. I wasn’t the most popular girl in school, but I wasn’t the most horrid thing. That’s where I met Jake, Michael, and Ella. Ella was walking down the hall when someone, probably one of the stupid-a*s cheerleaders, tripped her. They then started calling her names. Even then she was defiantly gothic, but to me she looked pretty cool with her crazy dyed hair and combat boots. But anyway, after they left, I helped her pick up her books. We were both late to class, but we didn’t care. After that we became best friends, and then we met Jake and Michael, who completed our circle of friends; of course they were gay, but we didn’t care. Soon after though, I was called names and people tripped me in the halls. That’s how it all started.”

I was still standing right by the doors and he stood by the window, looking at me with wild curiosity in his eyes.

“So tell me, do you want to know more?” The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them.

He gave me smile, sat down in a chair, then said,” Well, why not?”