Diving Belle

I

The diving woman crouches at the waters of time.

Knees bent, arms taut, watching

The stillness before the disruption

Of course,

These waters are not made of the substance that time is

(whatever that disputed substance may be)

These waters are not the fountain of youth,

Nor gateway into a more brilliant world,

 

This is a subjective time.

The diving woman’s time.

 

And of course,

These waters of time do not flow in deep space

For the woman must have something to crouch on,

(dive from)

These waters of time are a loch - no

Two lochs

Meeting beneath a bridge

Next to a home

 

(Time,

You find,

Is sometimes hidden among the most mundane)

 

Subjective.
Back to the subject

 

 

 

II

To the Diving Woman, the waters of time are called due to their reflective nature

And

Each time she peers over the edge into that kinetic mirror she comes

Face

To Face

With her own Face

And

Not only her face but the age upon that Face:

The marks which have surfaced

(like ripples)

.

The diving woman, our diving belle

Last time she was here, it had been hell

And the time before that �" well

 

She takes a great, deep breath

 

And dives.

 

III

 

Cold Shock and then

Down

Down

Down

She goes Down

Body acclimatising  - Slowly streamlining �" Into deep �"water �" vessel �" cold belly.

 

The loch is an old stomach that holds pure and clean acid into which she has disappeared.

 

Down she dives

Until……. Up

Up
Up

UP

It’s a scream on her lips that breaks into bubbles -

 

The tension breaks!

Gasps for air. The kinetic mirror falls and breaks into a million trillion billion.

Air in lungs. Mouth wide.

 

She is young again

(not a fountain of youth, remember)

When she resurfaces she is young again.

 

Dreamyoung and dreamlearning.

Dreamtakingitallinherstride.

Overgrowth, overcompensation, overexcitement, overjoy.

 

Author's Note

Still unfinished! New concept, tell me what you think!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

'.. Each time she peers over the edge into that kinetic mirror she comes ~ Face ~ To Face ~ With .. .. '

An extraordinary concept.. moves like an erratic journey, a little over-excited at times but mesmerising. This reviewer had to, is having to - move on and on three times read. A slightly convoluted read, perhaps a little long, yet, the thread beckons one to try to unravel what seems to have a real heart.. which, in turn, makes the whole a mystery.

Think 'taught' should be 'taut' ?

[paperwizards]

Thank you so much for this review! As it is still unfinished it will really help me develop it further :)

[emmajoy]

You're more than welcome.

[dead letter office]

the concept of the Soul and Spirit agelessness comes through

this line seems a bit awkward
"These waters are not made of the substance that time is"

perhaps read it aloud by yourself or have a friend
as you said its a bit rough: repetition is a good technique but needs to be used judiciously. Give it a week and pull out the essential.

[Wild Rose]

I gather she is gathering courage to take the plunge
Not into something new > into something from her past
Something forgotten - lost in time - out of practise with

She takes the plunge [down down] to become completely absorbed in [this thing/ action]
she comes up - gets her breath - enjoys the experience

???? will she go there again ???

[Onlyme]

Interesting concept, a mixture of thoughts, feelings and insightful views. Erratic journey into love, life and human emotions. Wrapped into a detailed story like a prose poem.