Were it not for you

Were it not for you

I would be content

throwing sky 

beneath my feet

whilst attempting 

to solve the sea

and my words

would be whispered only

against the voice of the wind

And always

I would listen

and sometimes 

take in a little too much

and feed it on my thoughts

just to watch

the little pieces of me

separate at a high speed

and float off into the air

where they can do no harm

For there is now dissension

in my old sense of direction

and I can no longer walk on ceilings

even with my eyes shut tight

which you have deemed a good thing, right?

because this way up,

I am unlikely to be

adversely affected by too much

blood flow to my head

Reviews

[I, Rene]

Stanza one , perfect metaphor for saying were it not for you I would be walking on air, head full of clouds. Even more perfectly expressed is stanza two, i'd be happy were it not for you, but I release my anger so it doesn't hurt you, and because of you I have a falter in my step and my direction is unsure, but my eyes are open, thanks a lot. I know how this exactly feels, I've been there and could relate quite well.

[linear]

If I were to throw the clouds beneath my feet, I
would fall through and possibly drown deep in my sleep.
And should I walk upside down I'm perfectly sure I would fall and break my crown.

That being said.....I did so enjoy your tumbling words :O)

[Pax]

writing it down really help and poetry does that...

the little pieces of me
separate at a high speed
and float off into the air
where they can do no harm

~ how powerful words that depicts the emotion and strong thoughts...
i say this is a well expressed poem
Great job!

[Rick Puetter]

Dear L,

A lovely piece.

"For there is now dissension
in my old sense of direction"

These are a pair of great lines, and I'm sure so many people of experienced this cross-road, each looking down both paths, trying to discern what to do. But I am wondering here about your puzzlement. You seem to have a path recommended by another, one which you are sort of accepting. And yet, I sense hesitation. It makes a quite interesting close to the poem. And there is the puzzling use of the word "unlikely". Did you mean "likely" instead?

My best regards,

Rick

[Audrey Howitt]

This is just gorgeous writing! Thank you!

[Liza]

were it not for the connection perceived in another being sharing their existence - this inspiration would not have triggered such a profound declaration...i do love when that happens...

[Kim's Poems]

i really loved this write, especially the 1st stanza, this is wonderful.

[SkinlessFrank]

That power that lovers have to anchor us, even when we show them how easy it is to fly apart, dissolve in front of them...thanks to that we are still here. This is beautiful.

[Ghostshell]

this part:

'the little pieces of me
separate at a high speed
and float off into the air
where they can do no harm'

is my favorite. i liked this one a lot. :)

[Ed Hart]

i think it's wonderful the way you make origami out of words