Dreams of Day

I'd felt a little lost that's all,

A little sad, a little small

I'd gone to sleep in light you see;

My eyelids just a bit heavy,

And when I'd woken all was dark

And sleep was just a pillow mark,

A pillow mark and taste of dream;

Half forgotten; though it seemed

much sweeter than reality

With everything as it should be.

I searched your words to dream again;

Those surreal strokes of ink and pain

I searched your words but all I found

Was repetition; empty sound

Though very eloquent I'm sure,

My mind had needed something more

Than empty patterns with no feel

I cry for what I know's not real

I'd thought that silent scene from sleep

Could make me smile, be mine to keep

Instead to my dismay I find

That all it does is haunt my mind

Its empty echos can't be held

Nor waking thoughts to sleep be lulled.

I woke up from a silly dream,

My room as dark as life did seem

I searched your face but all I saw

Was all that I had known before;

That empty dream, barely recalled

That sleep had briefly made my all.

Reviews

[K.C. Zbryk]

Brilliant use of the rhyme scheme, and i liked how you described the dream fading away as you woke. Mr Purcell was correct when he advised that this piece be read aloud, it brings out the full effect of the rhyme.

[Frank Purcell]

I find a lack of words to describe my liking and enjoyment of this poem. I, myself, am a huge fan of the rhyming scheme and found myself reading it over and over again. Paragraphs were broken perfectly. This may be the best poem i have ever read... Please keep writing, i will be eagerly waiting ofr your next. 101/100

For other readers, reading this poem out loud with the correct tone will make u understand how the structure keeps the poem both amazing yet simple at the same time.

[asdarkeyesclose]

Great finale, I liked the way the poem fell in and out of the waking state- asleep one minute, reflecting on the dream the next, this contrast worked well thoughout the poem :)