chosen hopeless nothingness

sometimes i wonder just who i am

sure, i have a name but it doesn't define me

have i chosen the name myself it would be ripped from the pages

i'd alter the name, change the letters, then it would have a better definement of its owner

but it's a hopeless task even if it could be done for even by a new name the rose smells just as sweet

so what if words can't define me?

does it mean i'm nothing?

to be born out of absolute nothingness and made into something?

where does the real me lie?

what does define me?

the term "human" does little to define me because it was never chosen

the words that defines my actions and behaviors can't be used so it's hopeless

and if i'm made out of nothing doesn't that also make me the same nothingness?

chosen hopeless nothingness

these three words define what i do but doesn't define me

my existence is far beyond a human body

even the core, my heart, is not the only holding to my existence

if i remove it, there are still more parts to my existence

there are even the unseen and unknown existing part of my former self

but for now i can think of one thing that tells me who i am and what defines me

the nothingness of a hopeless chosen seems to work for me