100 Days With You

True story about my oh so sad love life or crush life(?), well not really sad :)). Anyway, the days are of course not true, just used it so that i can tell the story in chronological order.

100 Days With You

 

Day 1, I admit, I didn’t know you exist,

My eyes never saw you, ‘twas crowded with mist.

Set them on someone more beautiful than you,

But now, I realize what I had wasn’t true.

 

Day 10, the world gave us a chance to converse

We both said I like you but what we felt was reverse.

‘I like you’ were words that we were told to act,

But boy, I didn’t know it would end up a fact.

 

Day 20, I started to watch you from afar,

I finally noticed how special you are.

Your smile, your frown, every face you make,

Everything about you made my heart ache.

 

Day 30, my heart swelled up with joy,

For the world showed me its awesome ploy.

Fate? I don’t know, but our names were called,

We were told we’re a pair and I was enthralled.

 

Day 40, I was oblivious, I really didn’t see,

That I stood there studying and you were behind me.

Until you scared me, holding something so gross,

But all I could think of was how we were so close.

 

Day 50, I thought would be like any other day,

But you made it different in your own special way.

Like a friend, you joked with me, and that made me happy,

You never fail to make me smile, even though I feel crappy.

 

Day 60, I felt my heart break into pieces,

There was a rumor that made me say “oh feces.”

There’s another girl and she’s one step ahead,

But you still have a chance, one of my friends said.

 

Day 70, everyone was in a festive mood,

But I was the only one who wasn’t feeling good.

A girl was beside you looking oh so pretty,

And I can tell that she wasn’t the girl from day sixty.

 

Day 80, I couldn’t help but think of that girl,

Was she your girlfriend? - oh! I want to hurl.

But then great news came into my way,

She was your sister " oh what a great day.

 

Day 90, I’m confused, I don’t know what to do,

Everything died down and my heart is feeling blue.

No more happenings for me to get giddy,

Maybe the world got tired of me already.

 

Day 100, now I’m back to staring at you,

Daydreaming about us, wishing it would come true.

I keep saying to myself that this is just a simple crush,

But heck, a hundred days, and I’m still feeling the rush.

Author's Note

I really enjoyed writing this because I was feeling hoity-toity as I reminisced the not so distant past. Haha. So, even if it's not my best, I still love this poem. Please do comment. :))

Awarded 'Better Love Poem ♥' in the Love Poems Contest.

P.S. Liked it? Check out its sequel entitled "101" Thank you! :)

Reviews

[EMF]

I really liked this. Some will relate to it because they're teenagers, but me? I had this for a year with the lady who is now my wife. I was 30 then. I still feel the same about her now. You have shown how that rush of excitement can be wonderful. And you have handled to poem with wit, skill and perfect flow. Thank you. A wonderful read

[Aehr]

oh.. i've been here, seriously! You have expressed your emotions so well here. A wonderful read.

[Loney tunes]

lovely poem

[A Red Red Rose 4 U Luv]

This was very good.

[styxfan]

This is amazing. The way everything was done, you really get into the narrators head, your heart builds and breaks as you read it. It's very easy to relate to, I've gone through a lot of similar situations to this poem.

[Summer'sBreeze]

i love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ysabel Reyes]

i really like this. i think it's cute and very very true. it's like you've been writing a lot from your diary. I can really relate to this too. great job. and hey, I'm from the Philippines too! Awesome :)

[y&r]

I KIND OF get what's going on. But then I never really knew what went on because I didn't finish reading the poem. And here I'll tell you where the poem lost me.
Too long. Too wordy. Cut it down. I don't really want to read four lines, one stanza just about how you never noticed him. Allude to it in the later stanzas and scratch the first one out. Too excessive.

Where's the action? I gave my attention for 3 stanzas, and when there was no action, I just called it quits. Give me a reason to continue reading.

I think I skimmed down all the way to the end only because I really want to know WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM. because the girl is narrating in flashback, and she doesnt sound too happy, I kept rreading just to find out why they broke up. Or the like.

Oh, and I think the redundancy comes with your attempt to rhyme. Some great poems do not need to rhyme. I think your poem can be all the way better when you get the obligation to rhyme out of your head and let loose all creativity. Don't be restraint by rhymes (thats one reason why i hate rhymes unless you're Edgar allan Poe). Once that's fixed, most of your poem should be well fixed. :)

[Manpreet]

This is an awesome piece ! It has story , emotion and expression of both in an artistic manner. A great write!

[Inyourshadow]

100 days of love is a beautiful honest insight into your private thoughts and dreams, the way you pass time between each stanza shoeing the way your feelings have grown and changed is very creative.
I love the jealousy over the sister as this happens all too often lol.
I have a poem similar to this call A year of love revealing the seasons as stages of their love.

Well done on the win and keep em' coming

Shadow

[Harmonica winds]

I really loved this piece, so much emotions impacted in this write. I loved the last stanza alot. Awesome write.