First Time

My first time to... Read it and take a guess! Don't cheat by looking at the Author's Note first. Haha. There are a lot of clues! :))

First Time

 

I closed my eyes,

I breathed three times.

Hands cold as ice,

I couldn’t hear the chimes.

 

I took one step,

Knees feeling weak.

Couldn’t help but peep,

Feeling like a freak.

 

I extended one arm,

Shaking like an old man.

I swear I mean no harm,

Just wanna hold your tan.

 

When our skin touched,

Cold crashed with colder.

I swear I could’ve dashed,

But this is grave matter.

 

Eyes scanned for silver,

My hand held it - careful.

I thought I was running fever,

As I slashed, slashed like a fool.

 

Lifeless eyes you had,

Felt them glare unto mine.

But I didn’t know I was that bad,

Till I saw them sparkle and shine.

 

That night I kneeled down,

I prayed like a bee.

Please give me a new gown,

And don’t let him visit me.

Author's Note

I know the poem sucks, but I really wanted to write this. :)) This is what I imagined my first time would be, but what really happened was far from it. It wasn't that scary. So the answer is... dissecting a cadaver! Did you guess right? :)) I really had fun writing this, but it was really hard. Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Don't ever think less of your writings. This is an incredible write you have here and the feel of it makes it almost ominous. The way you express it in such a way intrigues me. Dissecting a cadaver? Oh my! The feeling of doing such a thing is terrifying and takes a lot of nerves to do. Other than that, great poem from your part.

[Naomi]

Huh...o.O
It's interesting. I had no idea it would be about dissecting a cadaver xD

[MadameBluebell]

I honestly wasn't sure what this poem was relating. At first well I thought it was relating your first sexual encounter sorry yes my mind went there but then I was just confused. It was interesting to read though because it was very thought provoking then after reading your explanation I re read it and it brought it all into focus. Great job

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Cadaver hehe...didn't guess it...although I have dissected a cadaver a few times....it's an experience for sure...really like the poem...excellent :)

[Wolfwind]

While I had sense a morbid twist to the piece. I didn't see it being a cadaver. lol You painted a unique set of images that in my opinion made it seem like there was some sort of child hood game being played, I just didn't know what it was.

Aaron

[Dove]

This poem doesnt suck!! I really like it. When I first started writing I always doubted that my work wasnt good. Now Im pretty confident even if all of my work isnt great, thats ok. This poem right here is brilliantly written. Never doubt yourself:D

[Bridget Murphy]

It's well done, you can feal the fear and expectation radiating from your words. It is an Excelent poem!!!:)

[SwagMaster]

Awesome!

[Coyote Poetry]

I had to write the poem a few times. It got my attention. I like the way you open the story slow and easy allowing the reader to find the path to the amazing ending. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Lily]

I don't think this Sucks! IT is beautiful!