First Time

My first time to... Read it and take a guess! Don't cheat by looking at the Author's Note first. Haha. There are a lot of clues! :))

First Time

 

I closed my eyes,

I breathed three times.

Hands cold as ice,

I couldn’t hear the chimes.

 

I took one step,

Knees feeling weak.

Couldn’t help but peep,

Feeling like a freak.

 

I extended one arm,

Shaking like an old man.

I swear I mean no harm,

Just wanna hold your tan.

 

When our skin touched,

Cold crashed with colder.

I swear I could’ve dashed,

But this is grave matter.

 

Eyes scanned for silver,

My hand held it - careful.

I thought I was running fever,

As I slashed, slashed like a fool.

 

Lifeless eyes you had,

Felt them glare unto mine.

But I didn’t know I was that bad,

Till I saw them sparkle and shine.

 

That night I kneeled down,

I prayed like a bee.

Please give me a new gown,

And don’t let him visit me.

Author's Note

I know the poem sucks, but I really wanted to write this. :)) This is what I imagined my first time would be, but what really happened was far from it. It wasn't that scary. So the answer is... dissecting a cadaver! Did you guess right? :)) I really had fun writing this, but it was really hard. Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Don't ever think less of your writings. This is an incredible write you have here and the feel of it makes it almost ominous. The way you express it in such a way intrigues me. Dissecting a cadaver? Oh my! The feeling of doing such a thing is terrifying and takes a lot of nerves to do. Other than that, great poem from your part.

[13ReasonsWhy]

Oh my gosh!! I first though I was about taking first stps or something but that is creative!! DissectIng a cadaver?!?! Nice,

[emma]

hah! clever! i would never have guessed that you were dissecting a cadaver! awesome poem:)

[bookworm642]

wow this was really good! I never would've guessed it was dissecting a cadaver! great piece of writing!

[Shy Girl]

I agree with Toxicinity, don't think less of what you write. I have come to find that they can become friends of fun, or friends of therapy. I actually first thought it was a drug fix, then I thought of cutting your arm...but you had me tricked well and good. That was definately a lasting first time in my book. :) Quite a few different ways you led us down through the path you chose. Very well done. :) Remember, we write, we feel, we write, we heal. :) Loved the work.. :)

[Alexandria Reece]

Completely unexpected subject matter, I had to reread it once I got to your note at the bottom, almost like viewing something upside down in a mirror and then turning your head to see it right-ways up! Very clever, lady!

[MetBySunlight]

I don't even know what a cadaver is haha :P
But this poem is really good. It's mysterious, edging the reader to continue reading until the end.
(:

[Sleeping Maiden]

Huh, interesting. I never thought it would be about dissecting a cadaver..
Fascinating write! And no, your poem doesn't suck. I like the imagery. It feels a bit dark but it's good! Nicely done!

[KAREN]

Very interesting, but the imagery did make it real. Nice!

[Aianarie (INACTIVE)]

Shizbucketsss *shivers* Creepy. lol

I like the imagery you create though; very interesting!

[Black]

nice imaginary
work on the flow here and there
but further they are incredible