The Gift Shop

It had been a long day touring the Indian Reservation. John and Chyanne Milton slowly walked back up the path towards the parking lot and Reservation gift shop. Deciding to cool off before the 3 hour drive home John and Chyanne made their way into the gift shop. Thankfully the A.C. was humming at full blast. Chyanne loved a good gift shop and this one was one of the best. It was filled with everything Native American though John wasn't so sure that everything in the shop was representative of the tribe they visited today. There were tee-pee key chains and hug an Indian aprons as well as an array of Indian toys any child would love. Carved statues of bears and wolves lined shelves that had seen better days. In fact the whole building seemed to have been built long before this reservation was a tourist stop. Unlike the old building everything inside was brand new and made for the masses. And of course grossly overpriced. Still John began looking around determined to find the perfect corny souvenir for hid young bride. Past the aisles of mugs and t-shirts, almost as if it was forgotten in time stood a old wooden barrel with animal footprints carved around the rim. Above the barrel hung a faded Discount sign. It to had seen better days. Rummaging within the first few layers of trinkets a flash of light blue catches his eye. Reaching down he felt something soft and realized the blue he saw was part of a small grey dream catcher. It was about 10 inches from top to tassel and at the end of three tassels was a black feather with a light blue bead above each. It had 13 points in the web and was made of the softest grey cloth and sinew that looked even older than John himself. It was strikingly beautiful yet plain all at the same time. John wasn't sure how it could be both at the same time. Taking a quick look at the price tag he saw that it was marked down from $25 to $10. Now this they could afford. John walked up to Chyanne and jokingly asked if they could get it so she would always be in his dreams. She playfully swatted his shoulder and kissed him as they made their way to the cashier to pay. The cashier looked earnestly at the couple as they set the dream catcher onto the counter. Both John and Chyanne were taken aback when they realized the cashier was blind. Not just blind but he had no color in his eyes. Both his iris' and his pupils were gone. The man was old. Hair as white as his unseeing eyes and wrinkles that spoke of years of hard work in the sun. He seemed more ancient than anything they had seen so far today. As old as time John thought as he quickly looked away for fear the man might think him rude. Goosebumps raced up John's arms as the man seemed to look right into his blue eyes as though he was sizing him up. Finding it hard to speak John stuttered out the location of where he found the dream catcher. John gently pushes the dream catcher towards the man who suddenly smiles and asks John a very odd question. "What is your biggest fear young man?" "What lives in your nightmares?" John, wanting to impress both the old man and his wife simply said "nothing." The cashier seemingly satisfied with John's answer picks up the dream catcher and puts it in a brown paper bag. After taking the ten dollars and giving John his receipt, he tells John to hold on to it. There is a two week return policy. Laughing, John thanked the man and put the receipt in the bag. As they reached the door the old man called out and looked right at John. As though he was in a trance the old man began to talk words that seemed to be coming from somewhere other than the Indian at he counter. 

 

To catch a dream is no easy task.

Letting one go is harder still.

Three life's are lost hidden in the past.

That only dreams can reveal.

Three sleeps for each life lost to find,

the answers locked within.

If at this time the mystery is unsolved.

Your nightmares will never end.

Reviews

[M. L. Zane]

Good evening, Flora. As always, you summon me with a read request, and I (eventually) answer the call.

First, there are a number of typos and grammatical errors in this particular piece. I make it a habit never to go through these in my reviews, as that is what my editing contracts are for. Only the sadistic edit grammar for free, and there isn't enough coffee in my pantry to give me that level of pain tolerance.

Anyway, the best way to fix typos is to self edit. Print your work, and read it aloud to someone else. You'll catch more errors than you ever thought possible.

Secondly, I like the premise, but it is a little unclear who is speaking in the dialogue due to a lack of indentation. This is crucial, as otherwise the read becomes confusing. I had to read some parts twice not out of complexity, but simply because I didn't realize what you were saying.

I recommend you tinker with this one a bit, and post a second draft. I'm curious to see what nightmares will come from this dream catcher. Skinwalkers? Wendigos? Show me the devil.

Regards,
-M.L. Zane