Unfinished

Aftermath of the late night.

Some days. Some days I let the world pass by. Some days I watch as everything gets a day older. Some days I see the people around me age. Some days I let go of the reins of life, only to realize that I never steered it to begin with. Some days. Like yesterday.

It was a closed casket funeral. I sat in the back of the room. Stuff happened. My parents cried. I won’t go into the details. No matter how well I describe it, it’s just not like being there. It happened. I should be over it. Aren is six feet under now. So why can’t I shake this feeling?

I sit on my bed. It’s going to be harder to pay for this place. Aren’s unemployment didn’t help to pay much. I look over the bills. Won’t have to feed two mouths. His money did help some. I am downing a tablespoon of crushed aspirins. My headache will be gone soon. I bought a bottle of water at the store down the street. I chug half of the bottle. The pills will run out in three downs. I didn’t get more when I was at the store. A sharp pang explodes inside of my skull. I could just take some more pills. I should’ve gotten more. I line up the rest of the aspirin on the table in front of me. I need to wake up early tomorrow. My professor said he wouldn’t mind if I was late. I crush the pills with the spoon. I’d get about five hours of sleep. I’ve managed with less. I hold my nose and take another tablespoon of crushed aspirins. The water won’t last the night. I should’ve gotten more. I chug the rest of the water bottle and collapse onto the bed. I can’t stay awake much longer. I haven’t slept since he died. I fall asleep.

"Hey" Aren whispers.

"What," I grumble.

"You know me, bro. I’m a safe driver."

"I know you were drunk."

"Not that drunk."

"Then what, the car crashed itself?"

"It’s crashed itself like it set itself on fire."

"Are you trying to say someone killed you?"

"I’m saying that you should know me. I can handle myself. I’ve driven us home every time we went out drinking. And I’ve always been safe."

"Why would someone kill you?"

"I don’t know. I’ve done nothing. I would’ve told you."

"You would’ve."

"I’m just saying. It doesn’t add up. It ain’t cut and dry. There’s something missing. There’s something not right. Figure it out, Alek."

Reviews

[buoyantMaureen]

I liked this a lot. The gruff, pretend-to-be-unattached attitude and the quip sentences are the gold of this story. I liked the stream of consciousness about he aspirin and the water running out, I though that part flowed really nicely.
I even liked the dialog bit at the end. It really makes the piece personal and I like how its ambiguous, how it could be both a scene with Alek talking to Aren's ghost or it could be that Alek just took too many pills. maybe its that their names are the same but I thought the two boys were twins which makes the could-be psychic connect even creepier.
I'd say the weakest the first paragraph was hit or miss. The lines were good by themselves, very poetic, however they didn't really match up with tone of the rest of the piece which is all very unflowery.

[Split Voices]

Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm very glad you were able to pick up on some of the ideas I was trying to project in this piece. The first paragraph is very different and for most of my writing, I kinda have a first paragraph that isn't absolutely bonded to the rest of the story. But I am glad you liked the rest of it!