I am Three

Later on in Split Sir's life. After the incident.

"Who are you?" I’ am asked, by someone who thinks I am out of place.

I give him a blank expression, look him over and glance up at the moon. Who indeed, I think. I put my hands in my jacket pockets, filled with spare change, crumpled receipts and my dearest. The neon signs and tired lampposts lining the street serve as the only points of lighting on this cold night. Well, besides the full, off-yellow moon. This sidewalk is empty for now. The alley is near. The moon won’t mind. I take out my dearest and my dearest does well to convince the man to follow my orders.

"Woah, man, I don’t want no trouble." No do I, I think as I lead him down the alleyway, where trash bags on the verge of bursting line the sides. The smell irritates my noses, so I choose to breath through my mouth exclusively. My words do little to reassure him and I find my ears getting a tired of trying to sift through his dialect.

"I’ll give you my money, alright? Deal? We cool?" He throws his wallet on the ground in front of me and I make a point of stepping on it. Like all cat and mouse games, the cat gets bored and finishes off the mouse. His knees buckle at first and his hands rush up to where my dearest made her first entry. And with the alley only lit by the moon and the street still clear, I see no reason to hold back. I withdrew and insert my dearest again and again, and the man does little but gurgle in surprise. My best glove grows red again. A task to deal with later, I suppose. Unlike my dearest, the glove requires someone to clean it. A shame, really. Inefficient. Anyways, the man slumps to his knees, looks up at me, and falls on his back with a muffled thud.

"Why…" he finally exhales. I lay down on the ground next to him. A shadow passes in front of the alley entrance. The moon hangs overhead, partially clouded. I feel blood soaking my jacket’s sleeve but I don’t mind. My senses are less irritated now. I am glad as a cool breeze finds me and I unzip my jacket. Who indeed, I think again as I watch the clouds clear and the moon illuminate.

"I am three" I say out loud without meaning to. I tilt my head up to see if my utterance caught the attention of any passerbys but I am lucky this time. I let my head fall slowly back on the cement. Am I three? I am three. I never really thought about it before, but I guess I am the sum of three different persons. Three separate and clear entities. Maybe that’s my problem. But if so, there aren’t really any solutions. I think about the day that just passed leading to tonight and how they reflect this triplet.

I started off my day by waking up, eating a bowl of cereal, drinking a glass of orange juice and going to the gym. At the gym, I focused exclusions on my chest and back, knowing that I would need my arms as quick and rest as possible for tonight and my legs in similar condition should a quick dash be necessary. I had my earphones in as went through my various workouts and I listened to a variety of songs that didn’t satiate my taste for meaningful messages but did meet my need for a constant, slow beat. I walked back home, showered and took great measures to dry my body off before getting into more formal clothes. And so ended the physical part of my day and so began the social one.

I met my friends for lunch at a bustling restaurant along the main drag in town. Many girls walked by our table and I did my best to wink in the way that I have practiced in my bathroom mirror. My companions talked about their lives, wives, jobs and heartthrobs, and I did do my best to chime in where I saw place to. I made them laugh when I felt like it and listened carefully for the most part. They bored me mostly, but occasionally I was intrigued by how unnecessarily complicated they had made their lives. I keep my life fairly simple and my relationships even simpler, but these people really could take the bronze, silver, and gold medals for mess making. The sun started to fall in the sky and I did the honors of paying the bill. They all left in a hurry to their busy lives while I remained at the table and winked at a few more scantily dressed specimens. I left the waitress and a generous tip (though not before writing my number on the tab. You never know.) I helped her push chairs back in place and said my thanks as I left the restaurant.

Now as the mental part of my day began- I hear someone scream at the entrance of the alley and scamper off crying bloody murder. Double murder, that is, as they assumed I was offed too. I get up and look at my work. Good hunting, I think as I pocket my dearest and the dropped wallet. I ran the opposite way down the alley and the moon lit my path.