Link

       Being me isn't easy. It never was. It never will be. People have their own beliefs and that's okay but why harass somebody about who they are? Why judge them by the way they feel towards someone? My name is Link Andrews and this is my story.
       At a young age I knew I was different. At recess I would play house and dollies with the girls while the other boys played with cars and legos. Nobody thought anything of it when we were in kindergarten. Only my parents felt suspicious. they would try t get me to play with trains and stuff like that. I wanted the newest baby doll on the shelf. I was a special kid, no doubt.
       By fifth grade I was best friends with two of the girls in my class. I didn't really talk to the boys. They were mean and constantly calling me names like f*g boy and gay face. I didn't know what they meant but it still hurt my feelings. I was much more sensitive like the other guys in my school. the bullying didn't stop. It continued all the way through middle school until eighth grade. That's when I first tried to disappear from this world. I had tried to kill myself, sure but hey, I didn't die. All the Vicedon in my stomach was pumped out and I was on suicide watch for a good six months.
        When I went back to school, people were dead silent around me. Even my two best friends had a hard time talking to me for a while. It took them a good two weeks to even speak twenty words to me. Eventually they warmed back up to me.
        Ninth grade year came around and I started realizing how different I really was. I had my first crush. Man was he beautiful.
        He had ice blue eyes, soft looking skin, thick, blonde, wavy hair, and a killer voice. He sang high tenor in the choir and boy, could he sing. He was an angel. No. He was a god. He also was on the football team. Top lineman on the team. His name was Adam and he was perfect.
        Anyways, we got to talking. He was so nice to me. We were best friends after a while and I thought I knew him well enough to trust him. So I tried to talk my way into the question I wanted to ask. "Adam?", I started. "Yeah?", He replied. I was really scared and excited to ask him how he felt. But I started like this: "Have you ever..... Do you think being gay is wrong?" He looked at me for a second. "No but I think it's kind of gross. Don't you think?" I could have stood my ground, admitted everything. Instead, I chickened out with a big fat "Yeah"
        For a while after that, Adam and I stopped talking almost completely. I don't know why but it made me feel really bad. I was depressed. That's when I got into cutting.
        I thought it would kill me fast. It didn't. Instead I lived. It made me feel good. the blood pulsing from my veins. It was wonderful. Until my mom found out. That sucked. It was back to counseling for me. I'm still going to counseling. Not to say I don't need it. I do. I'm just not happy about it.
        At the beginning of my tenth grade year, I was quiet. I wore all black and I was pale from the lack of sun. I tried to survive through the lectures and the lunches. It was difficult. I didn't talk to people in school. Instead I met people in chat rooms online. One person in particular was Jake.
        Straight out, I knew he was gay. He talked like it through his typing and acted like it through video chats. We got along great. He was my first boyfriend and I though I loved him. I really did. I thought he was my forever love. Well, internet relationships don't ever really end up too good. We slowly just stopped talking. The last thing he said to me was: "This isn't working out. I don't think we should talk anymore." Harsh. I was hurt but I should have known it wouldn't work.
        By my eleventh grade year, I was close to out. I told my closest girlfriend about the boy I dated online. She was so excited, she couldn't keep her mouth shut. I saved my reputation though. That is until mid year. That's when I met Taylor through the music program. He was a new student at our school. He was a bass in the choir.
        He was crazy hot. Nice toned muscles and shoulder length, black hair. It was such a turn on. This one, I know, was also gay.
So i befriended him.We talked all the time. At school, through text. He was perfect. I didn't even have to ask him out. He asked me! When that happened I was ecstatic. I got so excited. Then I realized what I had to do. I had to tell people. My parents first. Then I would deal with the kids at school.
         I told my mom and dad the afternoon Jake asked me out.that wasn't a good idea on my part. Mom cried. she wanted grandchildren from her only child. Dad? Well he disowned me. apparently he had a 'no f**s allowed' policy. That made me mad. I was so mad I decided to leave.
         I went to Jake's house.His mother said I could crash there for as long as i needed. so I did. After a while, Jake and I had become a big thing. The kids at school started accepting it. My mom constantly called to tell me how much she loved me. My father wouldn't talk to me still.
        Why did I decide to share my story? Because I wanted you to know that you can be who you are and not feel bad about it. You can be gay, lesbian, fat, skinny, blue, pink. Love who you are. You are special. You deserve to live a good life.