love hurts

im just hurting alot , its not explainable , thats how most hurts start out ... you just know its there and its enough to kill you inside little by little ...

This isnt a death , even though ive delt with that plenty of times ... its not , sadly .

Its a Pain and a Scar its slowly killing me inside each and every night before i go to sleep...each and every moment i think about it .

Im dieing im slowly killing myself on purpose , im being selfish , but im just crying . Idont know what to do I dont know what to say .

With this hurt comes commitment and the hurt is love ,

It takes so much out of you , and its because your vulnerable to pain and sorrow .

DONT get me wrong the feeling is unexplainable but it is just sad ,

The fact im losing him brings pain to my heart , its taking a knife and stabbing me ....... and twisting ....... and pulling it out ...... and doing it again ..... and again ....... and again ....

This hurt brings hate to my life and jealousy .

Im jealous because im loseing you to my crazy life , and its pushing you away .....

Im pushing you away ....

and its killing me inside .....

Im killing myself every time i imagine you leaving .

I JUST WANT IT TO HAPPEN NOW BEFORE I DIE , WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE.

The absolute worse thing is you want to be with me forever i just doubt that so very much .

Why?

Why cant i trust you with my breaking heart ?

Baby please , dont ever leave me without you in my life ...............

i wouldnt be able to breath

every single moment of living would be crushed into athousand pieces ....

SEE this is the reason why i hate love , i hate the fact that i fell in love in the first place ,

THIS WAS NEVER SUPOSED TO HAPPEN !

I Hate love because im in love with you , and i dont deserve you .

I Messed up , i messed up with my life ...

You arent helping , you just make me wanna cry .

How can you love me if i only want to die ?

How can you love me everytime i cry ?

How can you love me when i dont even love myself enough to try ?

i dont love myself enough to care anymore ....

 

Author's Note

This is just blah ... my first writeing . This is how i feel today and i cant explain the cause of this its not the love of my life its my hurt inside just talking and im just broken to pieces .