Be Happily Married Yet Feel Single!

While there comes the question of being married, every one fears of his/her own independence or the identity of singlehood. Here are the ways on how to be happily married and yet feel single.

“The world is a blur,

The magical sounds of violin kiss your ear,

The cupid’s arrow pierces straight in your heart,

Everything to you appears bizarre.”

That’s how magical love is! Some have to kiss many frogs to finally find their princes/princesses and for lucky some it’s a quick win. But, when you finally find them, it seems like you have got a safe abode where you can finally rest. You decide to take the marital vows and spend the rest of your lives with this lovely individual. Everything sails smooth until one ominous day when you start getting the panic attacks- the fear of losing your own independence, identity or your singlehood.

Dear, it’s not just you. It can happen with anyone; maybe at the contemplation of marriage, on the verge of marrying or after few years of marriage. However, I’ve got you few ways on how to be happily married and yet feel single. Whoever wants to know, just scroll down!

Understand Your Partner, They Might Be Feeling The Same!

When you were single or dating, you were carefree. You did the things as you liked no matter how crazy they were, like packing your bags and sneaking out at nights, drinking ‘Pina Coladas’ and lying down to gaze the starry nights. Even love was beautiful and movie-ish.

On the other hand, when you headed towards giving a name to this ‘oneness’, a name called marriage, you become more critical of your partner or see them as a manifestation of what you’ve to turn into, as a ‘couple’. At that moment, you feel like you’re losing a hold on your choices, opinions and yourself. 

Maybe, your partner is feeling the same like they’re slipping away. That is the reason why communication and understanding are important when you’re planning to spend decades together. If you talk and know each other’s fears, you can become each other’s support in this scuffle for retaining the individuality.

Don’t Live In A Fantasy Land, Expectations Drag You Farther From Reality!

Have you ever wondered why your single days were happy and carefree? It’s because you never placed your happiness in somebody else’s hands.

In a marriage, you view your partner through the rose-tinted glasses and everything appears rosy to you. You happen to force your partner to mold like your dreams. But, the life is no fairytale and no one is perfect. When you realize your partner is unable to keep up with your high expectations, the arguments and disappointments occur and the relationship goes down.

The only way out is to tone down your expectations and keep things realistic instead of romanticizing your partner and that’s how you can save yourself as well as your love in the married life.

Support Your Partner, Being Dependent Takes Away Your Individualism!

Earlier, as a single, you were the master of your world and you missed no chance of indulging yourself with some love, care and gifts like that luxury handbag from the glittery store or the latest X-box up in the market, you spent your month’s salary on.

In marriage, sometimes you start to look up to your partner for fulfilling your needs or one of you start taking advantage of other’s cooperation. At first, everything appears natural and obvious but later on the partners take each other for granted and the frustrations and resentments start happening.

The only resolve is to support your partner and express them how lucky you feel to have them in your life. Besides, you should also be their support on the monetary level; if you’re not an earning partner then also you can relax their burden by keeping a tab over the expenses. It will make you feel useful, strengthen your sense of self and keep the marital bonds strong.

Engage In Activities You Like, You’ll Feel More Like You!

With a stag tag, you lived in a moment and did the things as you liked. At any time, you ringed your buddies and planned jaunts. Sometimes you became a fitness freak, and sometimes a philosopher. That sure was an impulsive world- ‘your solo world’.

However, as a married person, you spend all your hours in nurturing ‘me’ for transmogrifying it into ‘we’. That’s the time when you lose touch with yourself and yes, your buddies.

For healing this situation, establish contact with your family and friends, and plan outings with them once in a while. It’ll also give your partner an excuse to engage in things they like and hang out with their own friends. It will make out a difference for sure, trust me!

Bring Back The Sparks, Finding Singlehood Doesn’t Mean Loosening Of The Marital Bonds!

In this ‘being yourself phase’, don’t blame your partner as a culprit for taking away your identity, your singlehood. 

Just remember that to be ‘you’, it’s not necessary to draw away from your partner. You have to maintain intimacy with your partner to rear the marriage. 

Go on romantic dates, long drives and have passionate love life; it is the key for being happily married and yet maintaining your singlehood. 

Through aforementioned points, you must be able to figure out the difference between the single life and married life, and how you can maintain a perfect balance between both. Your individuality is the reason they magically fell in love with you, hence, make it a priority to preserve your singlehood to be incessantly charming to them. And, the more the two of you will bring into the marriage, the more it will blossom the marriage.

Author's Note

There are lots of ebbs and flows of relationships. And many are the issues related to the institution of marriage, addressing concerns of those in pursuit of life partners and a happy married life. Observations, inferences and suggestions, as a matrimonial matchmaker, do influence decisions. Trying to assist you finding your life partner.