I wish I could turn back the time

I wish I could turn back the time,
When the innocence was at its peak,
And the smile never left the lips.
When the world felt warm as mother's hug,
And close ones were not meant to leave.
When we could get things by being stubborn,
And the life was like granny's fairy tale.
When the school exams were the biggest challenge of life,
And you can complain to your mom if anyone made you cry.
When the gleaming eyes radiated happiness,
And expressing yourself was never a burden.
When the blanket was meant to keep you warm,
And not to hide inside to shed tears.

After all growing up is not too easy,
I want to return back to life that was so pleasing.

I wish I could turn back the time.....

Reviews

[Aidan Singletary]

Thank you for sharing! I enjoyed the read.
I, as I am sure we all, can relate to this unfamiliar progression of time. It seems like we should know it well but each time it acts, we wish we could turn back time. This world is a wonder.

My favorite line:
"And close ones were not meant to leave."

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks Aidan...I am glad you could relate to it 😊

[letroit]

Really enjoyed the read. Thank you for sharing

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks a lot, Letroit. I am really glad you enjoyed it :)

[CoralPrincess]

I just discovered the “read request” thingy that is on here!

This piece captures what I also miss about childhood. My favorite parts are:

When the gleaming eyes radiated happiness,
And expressing yourself was never a burden.
When the blanket was meant to keep you warm,
And not to hide inside to shed tears.

That last line especially tugs at the heart.

I would like to respectfully point out that I think you meant:

And close ones were not meant to leave (vs closed). This is a line that is heart wrenching too. 💔

(I don’t know how Rating and Points work!)

I’ll get caught up on the others you asked me to read - so sorry!! ☺️

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks a lot 😊

[Betty Hermelee]

nothing better than a mother's hug...and all the the things that enchant our childhood, the warmth, the caring, the smiles; growing up IS tough with many struggles along the way, which we didn't have as a kid...and " life was like Granny's fairy tale".... we all want to remember those "easy" times....
Nice write!
Best, B

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks a lot Betty 😊

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome!!!
Best, B

[Aura]

Sometimes we wish that that we could just go back to a simpler time when our mothers could heal our sadness, when we had an innocent mind, when we could say what was on our minds without being judged etc. Sometimes if only, we could go back to that time. Its frightening that we are growing up but sometimes we just need to reflect and take time out for ourselves to heal ourselves if needed. Thank you for sharing this poem!

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks Aura😊

[Aura]

My pleasure :)

[Lisasview]

Good morning from Spain,
I totally agree with Fabian, Jacob and J.D. and although this is your poem and not mine I used all this information as a learning tool for myself. I think it is wonderful that you got this help.
I enjoyed the read and with just the small grammatical changes, your poem would definitely have more impact and read so much more smoothly.
I do not see a response from you and am excited to see what your response will be, and if you take their advice. If so I will be back to read your poem again.
Lisa, in Spain

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Hey Lisa. I received really good advice and development points from all of you and I would definitely incorporate them going forward 😊

[Lisasview]

Fantastic!!
I am so happy to hear that.
Perhaps you can find time to read some of our works..
Lisa, now in Spain

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I do agree with Fabian on some of those changes that would make the poem a bit smoother.
But I really like the theme and it reminds me of my youth and now often I have asked myself if
I would want to go back. And if so, whether I would want to go back with the knowledge I have
now..
Also, in next to last line, just use " I want to return" not necessary to use "back"...
it is a redundant tautology.... the nostalgia in the poem is pertinent for all of us.

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks for all the constructive feedback Jacob. I really appreciate it and will consider all the advice in future.😊

[John the Baptist]

Nostalgia is a tendency common to many, but it is not something to be practiced regularly. The speaker here remembers many aspects of youth fondly and seemingly longs to return to that innocent time. Even if such could be accomplished, it would probably prove to be a disappointment. Many tend to sugarcoat their younger days, conveniently forgetting the less pleasant episodes of that time. Use the past as learning, not as a shelter.

[Bliss in Sorrow]

I completely agree with you John. The only reality is present no matter how beautiful the past was. That is just a temporary happiness. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 😊

[JD Major]

I like this! It beautifully reflects my own thoughts.
Constructive criticism: (1) Always Proof Read: Example: 5th line: Should "closed" be "close"?
(1) Delete some of the "the's" ... Lines 1,2,7,8,10,16 ...and in Line 12, "a" is better than "the"...
...hope you don't mind :)

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks JD. I am glad you liked it and really appreciate your constructive feedback. That is really very helpful ☺️

[JD Major]

You're Welcome :)
Keep up the good work!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is very sweet and nostalgic. I enjoyed reading it. If I may offer a few bits of technical advice, in line five (5) you have the word "closed" where I believe you intend the word "close" and in line nine (9) you have the word "can" where the word "could" would better suffice because that is in staying with the tense of the surrounding verse. I would definitely make those two changes. Also, I think the word "the" is used too often and it could be left out in the following lines to make them read thus, "And life was like granny's fairy tale." "When school exams were the biggest challenge of life" and "When gleaming eyes radiated happiness" These are suggestions to improve the verse more than necessary alterations however. I hope you will take this advice in the spirit it is intended and not suppose it more critical than helpful. Because helping is the true intent of my offering. I also related well to the piece and I think everyone at some point wishes the same. Keep up the good work. F.

[Bliss in Sorrow]

Thanks for all the constructive feedback Fabian.I really appreciate how you have pointed out all the minute details here which is super helpful. I will definitely consider that in future 😊