Chapter One

Writing a book isn’t exactly easy is it? That’s something I’ve always wanted to do, write a book, become an author of some description. I’ve always thought of it as an undying job. If you want to become a replaceable cog, become a sales assistant or something. But an author can never be replaced. No two books can ever be the same, well maybe the same kind of storyline, but each perfectly sculpted character would be created so differently…

Okay, here’s the problem. I am really bad at writing. I always get sidetracked and can’t stick to one storyline, my head is just filled with so many ideas I can’t concentrate on one story at a time! So, I was reading some blogs and they seemed easier to get a grip of, I mean what better story to tell than my own?          

Most people would start at the beginning, but I’m not most people. I’m going to start with yesterday. Yesterday seems like a good time to start. I met my best friend, Dina at the park, I only see her once or twice a week so seeing her instantly puts me in a good mood. We waited for her boyfriend and one of his mates to meet us when we decided to go to one of those small pizza places down a side road which was actually quite a walk away from the park. I agreed to go, even though I wasn’t going to eat anything simply because it was getting a bit awkward with Dina and her boyfriend kissing in front of me, which doesn’t exactly make me feel any better because I broke up with the boy I’ve been seeing three days today.

What a mistake! On the way to the stupid little pizza place, who do I see sitting on a bench? My ex, great. He didn’t notice us walking past and I don’t know why but I had to say hello. We’re trying to be friends so I went up to him and hugged him to say hi. We just looked at each other and I know he felt like I did. Walking away from him at that moment was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It was like he had a rope around me, pulling me towards him as I was trying to walk away.

It was actually physically painful.

 

Another day, today, fantastic I had tried so hard to stop thinking about him, but this has proven more difficult than you would think. That’s actually all I’ve thought about all day. In English today we were reading Wuthering Heights, it got me thinking. Cathy spends her life knowing that at any time she could have Edgar, but she knows she is in love with Heathcliff. Why she chooses Edgar I never used to understand but now I get it. Edgar was someone of a ‘higher’ social class. Cathy knew her family and friends would only accept her as a ‘lady’ if she married Edgar, and what did that lead to? Eternal unhappiness, great. That’s how I feel now. To be with my ex would be as degrading as Cathy and Heathcliff but equally rewarding. To be with someone you can acceptably be happy with but not in love just won’t do. I want my Heathcliff back, but it isn’t right, it wouldn’t work. But can I be truly happy with an Edgar? Too be honest I don’t even have an Edgar to fall back on, could Cathy have been happy alone without Edgar OR Heathcliff?

Just seeing my Heathcliff has broken my heart the same as Cathy’s. If my life is a repeat of hers, I’m due to die very soon, but my life isn’t hers. Is he my real Heathcliff for my Cathy? Or is it just an illusion created for Isabella Linton?

After all this wondering, I’ve realised I still haven’t stop thinking about him, which was the overall target for the day. I suppose ‘tomorrows just another day’. 

 

Good afternoon, well what’s good about it? I tried texting my ex, but nope, he didn’t want to know, he just didn’t text back. But I’m not going to talk about him, he’s just NOT WORTH IT! (And I still have the mission of not thinking about him!)