Fight to the Death

An internal battle between good and bad.

As I glance through these glass windows,
I can see my dreams.
A future of bright green, a life worth loving.
In the past the darkness has always consumed me.
I've always embraced it; bad days followed by bad decisions, followed by bad nights.
I've climbed mountains on days I couldn't see the valleys.
I've left scrapes and bruises on my body, when I could have gotten out harm free.
I've fought battles when there were no wars.
Just me against myself. Heart against my mind.
Body versus soul.
I always forget who I am, as if there is someone I'm supposed to be that I haven't quite met yet.
But how can I fight these battles when the only person I'm hurting is me?
How can I win when I'm losing?
How can I breathe, when I'm choking the very life out of myself?
The answer here is sad but clear. .
To find the light in myself I must eliminate the darkness.
One has to win, and my heart could not take it if the darkness endured.
I am two halves of a whole, and oh god it hurts so bad to cut myself in half, and regenerate the limbs and my mind that I have lost to the darnkness.
I cannot be two halves anymore. I must be whole on my own.
I am the Yin and Yang of life.
But Yang is a b***h.
How can I learn to love myself when I am destroying everything good that has ever come my way?
Losing this half of me hurts more than I ever imagined it would.
Losing sometimes is winning.
Now what's left of me can find ways to make herself whole again,
Without climbing these damn mountains.