This Asphalt Is My Friend

This Asphalt Is My Friend

A Poem by Paige

I sat there stunned, looking down at the ground.

I saw nothing but blood, no bodies to be found.

I looked over to the car, searching for your face,

I knew nobody would be able to take your place.

But I looked into the car and I didn’t see you there,

Oh how my heart filled with despair.

I hoped that you had gotten out, gotten to safety,

But I wished the only safe place you could find would be here with me.

I tried to stand up, but my legs would not budge,

Stuck between the ground and the car, they were nothing but sludge.

I screamed your name, I yelled so loud,

Yet nothing there could hear me but the clouds.

I tried to reach for my phone, or for you.

I tried to think of something that I could do.

I tried to feel you, but all I could feel;

Was the tears running down my face, and the skin from my legs starting to peel.

Why couldn’t you hear me, why couldn’t you speak?

I needed to see you again, before I got too weak.

I turned my head sideways and looked up to the sky,

Tears swelling up as I was asking god “why?”

I remember telling you  once that I was invincible.

I could take on the world, I could be bold.

I know that at that time I was just trying to impress you,

But now I wish that it was true.

If I could lift up this car off of me and search for your face,

If I could just get out of this place.

I memorized the asphalt, I memorized the pain,

I wanted to remember what it was like to feel you again.

Your touch your taste, I remember it so well.

Now all I taste is the ground, and all I feel is this living hell.

Please come back to me so I can say it one last time,

Just to say “I love you” before I inevitably die.

This asphalt has become my best friend,

In the absence of you, before my life ends.

The sky is gray, and my legs are gone.

I’m getting much colder now, I don’t think I’ll ever see the dawn.

You always loved it, you loved dawn,

I hope after I leave you can move on.

I looked back at the car one last time,

I wanted to see if you were there and doing fine.

You weren’t there, so I began to cry,

Because I knew that soon I was going to die.

The windshield was broken and you were not in the car,

But I glanced over and saw your dead body from a far.

You lay lifeless and in no pain.

I almost felt jealous, but then I felt rage.

Now you were gone and what could I do?

I don’t want to live on this earth without you.

Luckily in the distance I saw the flashing lights,

The lucky part is that I had no more fight.

I didn’t want to live in this world without you;

So I died.

Afterwards, I lived

© 2017 Paige


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Reviews

This reads much like a narrative poem. It contains a frightening yet relate-able story and is very interesting. My opinion is that the forced rhyme dilutes the impact of what happened. Try to take off the rhyme, go for clarity in the chronology and rhythm - then if you see comfortable places for accurate words that rhyme, add them. Otherwise the need to adhere to couplets and rhyme forces redundancy and hyperbole.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on May 30, 2017
Last Updated on May 30, 2017

Author

Paige
Paige

Writing
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A Poem by Paige