Won’t Leave; The Good Ones Never Do

You’ve told me that words don’t mean anything. Actions speak louder than words. For any other being I believe this is true. You tell me one thing & you tell me another. One day you’re making choices, decisions & the next you’re just trying to go with the flow. You say no other hearts can be in my mind but then again on some nights it doesn’t matter, it’s fine. Your words have no weight they blow through your mind. They are a withered dandelion. They float off in the clouds or maybe the stars, but they don’t have a weight that’s why they mean nothing to you.

I am not that person. Actions don’t move me. They are simple gestures that I only analyze. To speak with one’s soul with a hand or a smile is too simple for me. I prefer words. Words are like a hug I can keep in my pocket or a kiss that I could read over every single day, it’s memory to live on forever, never dead. Words can hold all the laughs of your nights you don’t remember if penned in time. My words are stout, un-changing with the times.

This is our difference. You say you need clarity, I cannot give it though. I am so very lost in myself. I am lost in the way my mind wonders. I cannot remember most of the days I’m living. No drink induced stupor or sad lost nights, just ones I can’t recall. I am moving through a fog something that may lift in times. I see patches of love and light, but the fog holds me tight. I know one day I will be crystal again, but simplicity will never come. I swim in depths.

Nights when I need arms to be cradled into you will cross my mind. Days when it’s funny & I want to share you’ll jaywalk through my mind or maybe a day I just have that wild hair. However, nights alone when I’m in so deep. I won’t know your name, I won’t come, won’t speak. It’s just how I am. I did not create my mind. I just try to let it lead me day in and roll with the high tides.

It’s a ride with a height of emotions 10 ft. tall. It has many precautions and warnings upon its waiting walls. I cannot say anything to make it come full circle for you. I can say I know your mind, I know your thoughts and most of your soul. “I love you” are the words more precious than most. They do not lead to insecurity, lies, or boast. These words need respect and honesty in them. I do not utter them unless a time deserves them; it’s never on a whim. I’ve said them to you & the meanings are still there no words are more truer than true.

Walk with only your hands in your pockets no stones of worry to weigh you down. Don’t ponder on words just let them in. They will haunt in bad times but comfort you in time too. Words won’t leave you, the good ones never do. What is meant for you was yours before you ever even saw it, & words that are meant to grace your life and echo in your mind are the same. Anything of ours has our name inked upon its feet, don’t fret& don’t chase one day you & your destiny will meet