Outside these Doors

The rhythm of life

 

 

irregular beats

the soldiers of life

don’t walk in time

don’t chant in rhyme

 

broken links

twisted kinks

of mind

to mouth

to hands

 

the vexed cadence

is almost caustic

eroding away the future

before it can get here

 

we have done it

to ourselves

hearing only ourselves

actively drowning out

choking out

everyone else

 

those beats, those beats,

those out of synch beats

 

I have tried

to break them down

but I can’t

 

but I can feel them

rattling bones

clattering teeth

shaking the earth

beneath my feet

 

those beats, those beats,

those out of synch beats

 

the power they would have

if only they were in synch

Reviews

[e]

I liked this poem a lot, the repetition adding so much emotion to the piece, well done !! :)))

[Patricia]

thank you kindly erin

[Miss Sharon]

Nicely written with feeling and emotion. ~Sharon

[Patricia]

Thank you Miss Sharon :) lovely to hear from you

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful and meaningful lines throughout. Wonderful writing 😌

[Patricia]

Thank you kindly Aruhdass :)

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Patricia... it seems that people realize that an unkept Garden has too many Weeds; therefor we must bring trust to bloom from seeds of propriety. There is always a way to blossom and be honorable. softly, Pat

[Patricia]

Hello Pat! Thank you for your gentle comment, as always you have the lightest touch in even the darkest of times and writings. You are a rare gem!

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Pat... if only we could touch the gentlest way; there is talk, but a bit late. We can remember-- "when th Sky is the darkest, the Stars shine the brightest. we are not certain what is unfolding; however, in the midst of Evil, there is always Good Omens of preparing a Way. tenderly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

The whole world is out of step, not in sync; people are out of sync, no regular beat.... don't talk to each other; divided, hateful, we feel fear and should not, but we do....why is the world so chaotic, it burns our minds....no peace and quiet; most people don't notice whats going on around us....we're all fitful, because we don't understand...the physical world is crumbling....floods, earthquakes, what to do? Powerfully written P.... this is my interpretation...
Warmly, B

[Patricia]

Hello B! I just got done writing about those things yesterday, the world is talking back at us, destruction is heard loud and clear, the elements are making sure of it. Thanks for reading and commenting. Love ya HUGS!

[Betty Hermelee]

We are two peas in a pod! think alike... you're very welcome my dear friend....love ya back

[emmajoygreen]

' the vexed cadence
is almost caustic
eroding away the future
before it can get here

we have done it
to ourselves
hearing only ourselves
actively drowning out
choking out
everyone else'

Read this three times, twice aloud.. felt phrasing erratic but somehow approved.. nothing to dislike.. more your way of displaying and saying how you felt. Thank you for showing me another part of your thinking, being, Patricia

[Patricia]

Thank you Emma, it is as erratic as society, in my opinion, of course, as things are starting to ramp up again here in the states with upcoming elections. It's going to get uglier, I fear. Thank you for reading and commenting and taking the time to take in the writing, that is much appreciated.

[emmajoygreen]

You know I care.. or try to, even though can be a touch impulsive! Enjoy the remainder of this week, keep fingers and toes crossed. Hugs

[jacob erin-cilberto]

society so out of sync with itself.
The rattling bones stanza is quite impressive.
There is a beat to this that matches how out of sync we are with each other...the beat is there, and then at times goes off...form relating perfectly to content.
j.

[Patricia]

thank you j. I knew you would notice that! thanks! HUGS!

[Lorry]

Most people are too busy listening to the soundtrack of their lives to even notice a world soout of step with itself, that the rabble of others is just background noise to them, in their amazing world (their thoughts, not mine)
But I'd theydidactially listen, they might find that all of us together, in our flawed little worlds, make up part of the flow and beat of the rhythm of life.
Out of chaos comes calm and we create part of the soundtrack to all our lives.
Hopefully one day we won't be as tone deaf as we have been.

[Patricia]

I think we come together when it really counts which is why it is incomprehensible that we can't be in step otherwise. Thanks for the read and comment :)