2 am

This is a poor attempt at trying to describe how much he meant to me.

It’s 2 am and my caramel coffee has long-since stopped steaming, yet I hold it in my hand, my fingers wrapped around the even colder porcelain.   The glow of the open laptop screen fills up my dark bedroom with an eerie light.  A conversation dated “May 5th, 2011” takes up the screen.  A year ago today we were talking about simple nothings; how much you tried to hide that you had missed me, and how much I tried to make you admit it.  You never did, except when you were drunk and messaging me at 2 am like I wish you were now.    

Our relationship was a lie to everyone except us.  Only we knew how much we meant to each other (or, as it has turned out, only I knew).  Everyone else only saw what they wanted to see, which was us, wrapped desperately around each other in dark corners of cinemas and parties.  They didn’t see how happy we made each other, how long we spoke to each other every night, how we had to speak to each other every night or our days would feel like something was missing.  We understood each other without either of us needing to say anything.  You knew all the cold, dark corners of everything I hid away, and because of that I thought you would always be there.  But it’s 2 am and I’m sitting here, with my cold coffee in my hand, reading past conversations that don’t happen anymore.

You made me so happy, but now you’re killing me. 

Reviews

[DrD]

I like the easy flowing sense about this work and the progression even though it's void of suspense. We know what's going to happen but we stick around to see it anyway because that's what we do when we are in love. I liked this very much but would have liked it even more without the last line.

[MoriartyMesa]

I like the dare I say, "Gonzo Style" of this, but from a ladies point of view. What i like most:
We understood each other without either of us needing to say anything.

really liked that

[khalid]

that is a real sad story....i can tell that many of us had the same experiences, it is worse when you face all people around you to make it work but it doesnt, that is really depressing. you feel you entered many wars and got nothing at the end, only hurts and pains

[Kyle]

Well done. I have done that too....reading past conversations i mean and wondering WTF happened....it sucks.